Pro Amor et Veritas For Love and Truth
by Maiyra
Summary: Every day in the lives of Akihiko Usami and Misaki Takahashi has seemed filled with a quiet sort of happiness. When things start to go horribly wrong, will they be able to cope? Will Misaki survive? Will Usami endure?
1. Gensis

_It was difficult trying to figure out what the first story would be about. I had a lot of ideas running through my head and in the end, I ended up with this._

_I rated it M mostly for violence, but there's also a bit of language and some adult themes._

_All characters _belong _to Shungiki Nakamura._

_**Chapter One: Genesis**_

"N-no!" Misaki Takahashi squeaked out and threw his fists gently against Akihiko Usami's chest. Misaki had a way of half-heartedly pushing Usami away whenever the man tried to be intimate with him. However, Usami always found it adorable and it only enticed him to further his mission. A smirk fell from Usami's lips as he settled them over Misaki's ear and nipped softly. He was awarded instantly with the most adorable noise from Misaki. Usami loved the way Misaki's words said no and yet everything else about him said yes. He knew if Misaki had really wanted him to stop that he wouldn't of pushed his luck. Usami was a stubborn man when it came to what he wanted, but he was also was quite the caring individual... in his own way.

"I'm out of Misaki." He replied calmly and let both of his hands slide up and into Misaki's shirt. The hands hovered above his stomach for a second while the phone near them rang. Usami looked annoyed and with some effort Misaki shoved at him until he was able to escape to the kitchen and accept the call. Usami gave a defeated sigh and let Misaki answer the phone while he turned to his over-sized teddy bear, Suzuki-san. He moped quietly to the bear and watched his lover pick up the receiver. He was only mildly interested as to who it was. It was Manami; his sister-in-law and the woman who had stolen Misaki's brother from him. In the end, he was thankful she had done so. It was because of her marriage to Takahiro that he'd been able to put his past with Takahiro behind him and to fall deeply in love with Misaki.

"Ah! That's wonderful!" Misaki quipped through the receiver. He could hear his brother in the background stressing about Manami's announcement that she was pregnant. It caused Misaki to laugh into the phone quietly. Manami exchanged a few more words with him until the phone was handed to his brother. Immediately his brother because to ask him questions about his health, how he was doing and how Usami was treating him. Misaki was mildly annoyed but reminded himself to be nice on account of the news that Takahiro was going to be a father and he an uncle.

"Niichan. Everything is fine. Worry more about your wife and about your new baby." Misaki heard his brother's defeated sigh and he felt at peace knowing his brother would give up... for now. Takahiro meant well but it was sometimes enough to make Misaki want to strangle his elder brother. Luckily the conversation only went for a few more moments until each said their goodbyes and Misaki returned the phone to its cradle. He turned to Usami with a mixture of unnamed emotions of his face. Managing to quirk is his lips into an awkward smile, his hands went to the side of his head where he scratched at his temple lightly with his nail.

"Ah, they're having a baby. Hah... hah." Usami, as usual, didn't look impressed.

"What do you want for dinner? I was thinking of ma..." Misaki wasn't able to finish his sentence before Usami had risen from the couch and trapped Misaki against his chest again. Misaki grumbled and went to push himself away again. Usami only tightened his grip and leaned down to speak quietly into Misaki's ear.

"I want Misaki."

"Pervert Usagi-san!"

"Misaki..."

"S-stop. I need to... make dinner!" Misaki was fishing for excuses as usual. It was normal routine. Usami initiated, Misaki resisted and in the end, they ended up doing it anyway. It worked for the both of them even if Misaki denied it to the core. He knew deep inside he really did care for Usami and loved him. It would take a miracle for him to admit it and he may never do so. Miracles didn't come easy and Misaki was more a realist than a dreamer. Usami could dream all he wanted but Misaki wasn't going to be as easily lost in the clouds like Usami seemed to be.

Usami had just barely made it to unzipping Misaki's pants before a redheaded woman thrust the door open and stormed in. Usami huffed softly in frustration for all of the distractions in his day and his deathly gaze tore to his editor Eri Aikawa. She had a knack for interrupting him in the middle of his attempts to 'recharge' with Misaki. Usami hadn't noticed the fretting look and gesturing of Misaki having been caught in the act, only his mild annoyance that his editor had interrupted him yet again. It was if the world was conspiring against him today. He took a seat on his couch and lit a cigarette while he listed to her rattle on about deadlines.

Misaki however saw her as a blessing in disguise once again, even if hit by the awkwardness of the situation. He had only barely managed to zip his pants back up and right himself without her noticing. He was quick to run to the kitchen to hide the embarrassment and the rattling of thing noted he was already trying to make some form of dinner. He left the two to their talks and silently mulled over in his mind the news that his brother was going to be a father. It suddenly felt weird that he hadn't made a bigger deal of it. Maybe he'd go to see his brother soon and properly congratulate him on the news of him becoming a father.

"Ah! Misaki-kun! I have a present for you! Here, strawberry chocolates." Came the rushed voice of the demon woman Aikawa. Misaki thought she was particularly nice, but he also knew the side of her that liked reading the 'BL' novels Usami wrote and often requested special things be put into them. Thinking of it again was enough to make his eye slightly twitch. It was quickly passed away when she presented him with a small blue box. He remembered the last box he'd gotten like this that was full of Belgian chocolates. The memory of what came afterwards had him even more exasperated and nearly not wanting to take the chocolates from her.

"Ah, wow! Thank you so much!" He ushered and accepted the box of chocolates anyway. Maybe they didn't have any alcohol, but to be safe he wasn't going to eat them with Usami around. The pervert might try to do something to him like last time. The memory nearly made him crush the box in his hands. Luckily he remembered they were a gift from Aikawa and he gingerly set them on the counter instead. He thought about asking Aikawa if she wanted to stay for dinner, but the look on Usami's face as well as the way the conversation seemed to be going suggested otherwise. Instead he let out a bit of a sigh and went back to making dinner for he and the man he refused to admit he was in love with.


	2. Stigma

_**Chapter 2: Stigma**_

"I'll be going now."

"Take care..." Misaki mumbled to Usami in reply. Somehow Usami had been roped into taking a very exasperated and very drunk Aikawa home. Misaki wagered it wouldn't take too long and as soon as Usami got back, they could eat dinner together. Left alone to his own devices, Misaki could do nothing else but think. He was a thinker by nature and while Usami generally filled his thoughts, his mind was racing with the earlier news about his brother and sister-in-law. He heaved a sigh and found himself flopping onto the couch before letting his eyes settle on Suzuki-san.

"I wonder if Usagi-san is okay about this. Shit, it pisses me even thinking about it." He mumbled to his inanimate audience and pulled himself and the bear to the floor. Usami would probably be busier than usual with Aikawa breathing down his neck about his deadlines. He was always so careless with it but managed to make the deadlines anyway. It reminded him of a character in a manga he'd read once. He only barely remembered it was about a bunch of cursed people who turned into zodiac animals.

"Stupid Usagi..." He muttered and debated snacking on a couple of the chocolates until Usami returned. He thought to ask Suzuki-san about if he should eat some chocolates or not but in the end, he decided to go with eating just a few. He wouldn't spoil his appetite and if they were laced with alcohol, he wouldn't eat enough of them to tamper with his state of mind. He couldn't remember if Usami liked strawberries or not, but he was sure that maybe somewhere along the line Usami had said he didn't? Annoyed by the rampant thoughts of Usami in his mind, Misaki didn't realize he'd gone and eaten all but one of the strawberry filled chocolates. The familiar feeling of being warm and dizzy washed over him and he realized these chocolates were liqueured like the Belgians had been.

"Usagi-san in late..." Misaki began to pout to the bear that was almost bigger than he was. Even though he knew the bear was just a stuffed animal, sometimes it felt like the bear was really watching him and it either comforted Misaki or was able to creep him out. For now he was too drunk off the chocolates to be disturbed at the fact he was staring Suzuki-san in his beady black eyes. Misaki gave a small hiccup and drew in a deep breath. He suddenly felt tired and he shifted his weight on the floor. Curling up to the the bear he stuffed it under his head as a pillow and fell slowly asleep.

It wasn't until hours later that Usami finally returned to the apartment. He felt guilty for having been away for so long but he'd suddenly been caught up in meeting one of Aikawa's subordinates who was completely obsessed and engrossed in his BL novels. The woman was much like Aikawa and it was as difficult to get away from her as it was from Aikawa herself. He'd finally been able to excuse himself and he regretted not brining his cell phone along with him. Usually it was on him at all times but he really hadn't thought he'd need it. He hadn't even had a chance to call Misaki anyway. He was sure he'd get a brow-beating for being so late but it was fine so long as he was able to return and Misaki was there waiting for him. The faint smell of soy sauce and fish cakes lingered in the air but Usami was more intent on the picture before him. Misaki was sprawled out sleeping on the floor with his arms tangled around Suzuki-san. Usami was unable to keep from smiling at the adorable scene and he wondered if he shouldn't take a picture.

"_Misaki."_ Usami whispered softly. He reached down to gently shake Misaki awake. He was going to catch a cold if he slept on the floor like this. It didn't help that it was somewhat chilly outside too. It was the middle of October and the floors in his apartment weren't exactly warm plush carpets. He hadn't turned the heat up either because it had been warmer out today and there wasn't much of a need to. After calling Misaki's name a few more times, he relaxed to see him finally waking up. Usami worried when he watched Misaki shivered and pull his hand to his head.

"Usagi... san?" Misaki whimpered and rubbed at his eyes and temples. He had an excruciating headache and wondered if he might have obtained a hangover from the chocolates. He didn't feel drunk anymore but he felt like heaving whatever was left of the chocolates all over the floor.

"You're going to catch a cold if you stay there." Usami said with a sigh to his voice and moved back so Misaki could get up. When he didn't immediately get up, Usami worried that he might've really been sick from laying on the floor for too long. Usami had been gone for nearly four hours and that was plenty of time for Misaki to get sick from sleeping here. However, Misaki rushed to his feet and mumbled something about dinner. It made Usami sigh a bit with relief. He worried about Misaki not taking care of himself properly.

"Ah, the food is warming u... wait a minute! What the hell are you doing back so late?!"

Usami gave a soft huff of air and righted Suzuki-san on the couch before he sat down and lit a cigarette. He took a long drag from it to calm himself down a bit from the hectic day he'd had. He'd miss his chance with Misaki twice already and even worse he'd had to deal with Aikawa as well as that crazy fan woman who was drooling over his BL novels. Exhaling the smoke he gave a bit of a smirk and let his eyes fall to Misaki. Damn the boy was sexy when he first woke up. He was even sexier for the fact he was running around in a tizzy.

"You missed me?"

"Like hell I did!"

"Your words say no, but your gestures say yes."

"You're just delusional."

Usagi snuffed out the last of his cigarette and found his way to the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around Misaki's waist and pulled the boy into a soft hug. With his head on Misaki's shoulder, Usami peered to the stove to see what was cooking. His stomach gave a growl in reply and he hoped the meal would be done soon. In the meantime he wanted to catch up on the days earlier events. He was seriously deprived of Misaki and wanted to recharge before the end of the day.

"I need to recharge my Misaki." Usagi grumbled in his frustration and began slide his hands under Misaki's shirt. He was surprised and somewhat vaguely alarmed at how warm Misaki's skin was beneath his palms. Then again, he wasn't sure if it was Misaki's skin or the fact that he had fairly cold hands. Either way he wondered if it was a good idea to entice him at all even if Usami wanted to satiate his urges. If Misaki was sick, he wasn't going to do anything to him. The fact that Misaki wasn't arguing with him or shoving away at him like usual had him worried. His hands stilled and his brows furrowed slightly in confusion. "Misaki?" He said softly and awaited an answer.

"Usagi-san. Let go." Misaki hadn't been feeling the greatest and all the smells from the food coupled with his growing migraine made him feel very queasy to his stomach. If Usami didn't let him go right away then Usami risked the chance of having leftover strawberry chocolates all over his feet. He was relieved when Usami didn't seem to argue and let him go. He debated running to the bathroom but figured it would only upset his stomach more. He instead found a pace in between and it was no sooner that he had reached the bathroom that he lost whatever was left within his stomach and more.

Usami had tried his best to give Misaki a little space and focus instead on making sure their soup didn't burn too bad. He only managed to burn his hand slightly in the process and almost tip the pan over twice. In a particular moment of silence he heard exactly what Misaki had been up there for. The sound made him cringe slightly and his brows ticked with annoyance. Usami felt like demanding Misaki stop being sick right away because it wasn't to his liking.

"Eh, sorry. I suddenly just didn't feel well is all. I'm fine now." He lied. Misaki didn't look okay at all. He was pale and he was a shaking a bit.

"Misaki. Go lay down." Usami nearly commanded. He knew it wouldn't fly over well with Misaki to be ordered around but even if Usami was a selfish man, he did put Misaki welfare above his own. He was a bit upset over knowing he wasn't going to be recharging tonight but Misaki's health was the main priority now. With a defeated sigh for his loss, Usami turned in time to hear the angry words that spilled from Misaki's tongue.

"Don't treat me like a child! I said I'm fine!" Misaki argued. So engrossed in his defiance, Misaki bustled quickly to the top of the stairs. He hadn't anticipated to be so lightheaded and dizzy from his fast-paced stomping. Misaki barely made it down a stairs before the world turned to hazy darkness around him and he fell towards the floor below.

"If I have to drag you... Misaki!!" Usami was sure his life had flashed before his eyes the moment he'd watched Misaki fall. He was even sure his heart might've stopped beating for a moment when he nearly didn't catch Misaki. Usami would bruise and be stiff for the next few days but for Misaki, he emerged unscathed.

"Aaah, stupid. Stop shouting..." Misaki whined to Usami. He still felt disoriented and everything turned into tiny pinpricks of light that began to fade away in front of him. His eyes looked to Usami before they fluttered shut slowly and Misaki slid off into a deep sleep.

Usami heaved in a huge breath of relief when he noticed Misaki was unharmed from the fall. He was quick to put to use the skills he had remembered from his own experiences of being sick. Usami debated bringing Misaki to his room but settled instead on his own room with the bigger bed and warmer covers.

Taking Misaki to a hospital would be a hassle and they'd call Takahiro which would create a large scene he'd rather not deal with. Instead he called the only person he could think of to help him; Hiroki Kamijou. He snatched the phone and dialed the number. Seconds later he was on his way upstairs to check on Misaki again.

"Kamijou-san, your seme is a doctor, right?" There was a brief pause before he continued. "Then come over _right now_; Misaki is sick." Usami hung the phone up and tossed it aside. He paced around the sleeping Misaki until Hiroki and his 'seme' Nowaki could arrive.

It wasn't much long until the doorbell rang and Usami raced to fling the door open and notice a very annoyed looking Hiroki and a worried Nowaki. He directed them to where Misaki was and stood back just enough to give Nowaki the room to work.Usami ripped a cigarette from his pocket and went to light it before he remembered something about smoke being problematic for people who were sick. Instead of lighting the cigarette he shoved it back into his pack and crushed the entire pack in his hands.

"Fix him." Usami demanded and paced once again. If Misaki was sick he couldn't see him running around the apartment with that stupid, goofy smile on his face and he couldn't be intimate with him either. He didn't want to wait any longer for Misaki to feel better.

"Usami-san, I don't think..." Nowaki ventured.

"Fix him!" Usami boomed again and threw his pack of cigarettes on the floor. He paced again and bit at his nails until he heard an exasperated sigh from Nowaki moments later. His pacing stopped and the look on his face suggested he was demanding answers.

"Usami-san, relax. It's just a cold and a bit of a fever. He'll be fine if he rests for a while. You should rest too. Try to keep him warm." Nowaki was glad that was all that was wrong with the boy. Usami's wrath was scary and he wondered just how angry he'd get if Misaki's condition had been worse. With the assessment of Misaki complete, Usami ushered them out the door quickly with a brief thank-you. He wasn't in the mood for company and even if it was rude, he didn't care.

Figuring to take the doctors order, Usami left the bowls of soup and Suzuki-san downstairs to be dealt with later. He instead stripped himself and crawled into bed. Within moments Usami was asleep with Misaki snuggled close and protectively against his body.

Hours later when the day broke and the sun filtered in through the trees, Misaki awoke. It took him a few minutes to rise but when finally he did, he noticed he was sleeping in Usami's bed... alone. Confusion washed over him and his head played through what he remembered from the night before. He remembered everything up until the point where Usami was shouting his name after he fell from being dizzy. Misaki still felt fairly sick but he had classes today and he wasn't about to miss them on account of something as silly as a cold. Getting to his classes was his top priority and for nearly an hour he argued with Usami about going. In the end Misaki had won the argument and had Usami drove him to school.

Misaki had somehow managed to make it through the day and catch at least some of his lectures. At the end of the day when class let out, Misaki stayed behind for a few moments to finish up his notes while the classroom emptied out around him. Before he could finish he was interrupted by one of his fellow classmates.

"Takahashi Misaki, I need to speak with you..." Misaki wasn't sure this was going to end so well.

* * *

_Edited for some minor typos. w00t. Chapter 3 is out now!_


	3. Deadlock

**_Chapter 3: Deadlock_**

"Yes, Ishikawa-Senpai?" Misaki replied.

Misaki gave a blink of his eyes and let them settle on Takehiko Ishikawa. What Takehiko wanted from Misaki he didn't know, but the way he was being looked at didn't exactly make him feel the most comfortable. However, Misaki gave him the benefit of the doubt and quirked his lips into the best smile he could manage.

"You know Usami Akihiko, the writer, don't you?"

"Yes..."

"I'm one of his biggest fans. I was wondering... could you get his autograph for me?"

Misaki nearly fell to the floor with the sudden request. So Takehiko was just another fan of Usami's who wanted an autograph. Misaki wanted to scream in Takehiko's face and tell him no. It wasn't jealousy moreover for the fact he didn't really like being used. Despite his distaste at being used to get Usami's autograph, Misaki relented and mumbled out a single, "Sure, I'll see what I can do..." instead.

"Ah! That's great! Oh, but my book is at my apartment. Will you swing by with me to pick it up? It's not far from here and I can bring you home afterwards."

Misaki thought on the proposal for a minute and while he wasn't the type to just randomly accept proposals of Takehiko's nature, he was still angry with Usami for their argument earlier. Ultimately it was Misaki's stubborn nature that caused him to rule in favour of going with Takehiko to his apartment.

"Sure, just let me call my ride and let him know he wont be needing to pick me up today."

"I'll meet you outside." Takehiko said and exited the classroom. Misaki wondered if he might've jumped the gun in judging Takehiko. He seemed like an alright guy. Misaki doubted that Usami would agree with him being Takehiko's friend, but since when had Usami dictated Misaki could associate with or not? Letting the issue drop from his mind, Misaki flipped open his cell phone and Usami's number.

"Usagi-san? I'm going out to a friend's house. I don't need a ride home today. I'll see you later." He clicked the phone off without another word and stuffed it into his bag figuring he too could be just as curt as Usami. Turning his phone off, Misaki exited the classroom to look for Takehiko.

"Ready?" Takehiko asked once he saw Misaki.

"Yep! Thanks for taking me home, Ishikawa-Senpai."

"There's no need for that. Please, call me Takehiko."

"O-okay... Takehiko-san..." It was weird for Misaki to refer to Takehiko so informally, but he figured he could at least oblige the guy. After all, Takehiko was saving him from having to drive in the car with Usami. It wasn't always bad, but sometimes he wished Usami would take it a little easier behind the wheel.

Although it took some time for Misaki to get used to sitting on the left side as opposed to the right, the drive to Takehiko's apartment was rather pleasant. Before too long they arrived at a normal, mid-class looking apartment complex. Misaki was more used to this than he was the five bedroom penthouse he shared with Usami. He liked the penthouse, but he still hadn't gotten quite used to having so much space around him.

'Alright, this is it." Misaki heard Takehiko say. They stepped out of the vehicle and Misaki was led up a flight of stairs and around the corner. It felt normal for a change and with his cold, Misaki was thankful for not having to deal with so many stairs or elevators.

"_Pardon the intrusion..._" Misaki whispered and tugged his shoes off once inside. The apartment wasn't as tidy as the penthouse, but it looked rather comfortable. "You have a very nice apartment. Do you live alone?" Misaki wasn't sure what else to talk about.

"Yeah. I like being on my own... my parents worry too much about me. Would you like some tea?"

"Yes, please." Tea sounded heavenly.

"Go ahead and have a seat. The tea will be ready in just a minute."

"Thanks." Misaki mumbled and took it upon himself to sit down at the table. He was used to sitting in a chair and eating higher off the ground, but being so close to the floor and sitting on a soft, fluffy pillow was kind of cool.

"So how long have you know Usami-Sensei?" Takehiko asked.

"For a while now, but I don't remember exactly how long. He and my brother have been friends for years." Usami and Takahiro had know each other for at least eleven years, if not longer.

"Must be nice; here you go." Takehiko said after joining Misaki at the table. He offered a cup of tea to Misaki and grabbed the other for himself. "So what's he like? Judging from his stories he strikes me as the sensitive type."

"Usami-san? I wouldn't say sensitive, really. He's more stubborn and a little bit bossy when he doesn't get his own way." There was more to it, but Misaki didn't feel like telling Takehiko everything about Usami.

"Really? I never would have thought he was like that. I guess there's always another side to someone. You can never be sure how someone is really like I guess."

"Yeah, I guess." Misaki felt a little guilty about his initial impression of Takehiko. He'd been nothing but to Misaki and all he'd wanted was Usami's autograph.

"So, Kamijou-Sensei seems a little less violent the days. Maybe he finally found somebody to tame that... passionate side of his." Takehiko said with a smirk to his tone.

"He's still pretty good with a piece of chalk though." Misaki grumbled.

"That's true. So, have you read any of Usami-Sensei's books?"

"Just a couple. You've probably read them all though, right?" Misaki wondered if Takehiko knew about Usami's BL novels. Misaki suddenly remembered Usami having used him in one of his series and his cheeks flushed just thinking about it.

"There's a couple of them I haven't read. Which book is your favourite?" Takehiko asked.

"To be honest, I don't have on yet. I should read a few more first. What about you? Do you have a favourite book of Usami-san's?"

"Yes, actually I do." Takehiko spoke and refilled Misaki's teacup. "However, it's written under a different pen name of his."

The only other pen name that Misaki knew about was the one he used for his BL novels. Misaki wanted to panic, but he instead kept calm in hopes there was a third pen name he didn't know about.. "W-what book is that?" He asked cautiously.

"The one where Akihiko bends Misaki over the banister on the balcony of their penthouse at night, thinking nobody's going to see it. It's a very good story, have you read it?"

Misaki's faced drained of all colour. He managed to dump his tea all over the table on accident and jolt to his feet in shock. Even if Misaki had been written into Usami's BL novels, he knew better than to think Takehiko was talking about a novel. Instead Misaki knew he was talking about what he had Usami had done two nights ago.

"Oh don't worry, Misaki-kun. Your secret is safe with me. However..." Misaki watched as Takehiko pulled out a stack of pictures and tossed the on the table. Daring to glance, Misaki saw the hard evidence that Takehiko had been spying on he and Usami.

"You bastard!" Misaki shouted. So Takehiko had been playing Misaki all along.

"Not so fast..." Takehiko countered and scratched at his jaw. "I wonder what would happen to your poor Usagi-san's career if they were to get their hands on these pictures..."

"You wouldn't..." However, Misaki had a validated suspicion that was just what Takehiko was going to do.

"Of course, I'm willing to strike a deal with you in exchange for my silence." Takehiko said with a smirk.

"You're sick." Misaki retorted. There was no way that he was going to let those photos get published. Not only would Usami's reputation be ruined, but his as well. His brother would read the paper and then what would he think? He couldn't let his brother see them. He knew he had to find some way to destroy the photos.

When finally an idea hit, Misaki lunged at the photos. He snatched them into his hands and began to tear them into tiny pieces and swallow them. If he ate the photos, there was absolutely no way to publish them.

"You didn't think those were the only copies now did you? I've also got these other photos. You see, these are of our lovely Kamijou-Sensei. Quite the erotic pose, don't you think?" Takehiko withdrew more picture and tossed them at Misaki's feet to see. Misaki dared to look and his face turned a tint of green; he was sure he was going to get sick. The images were definitely of Kamijou-Sensei in the school's library. "We wouldn't want Kamijou-Sensei to lose his job either; that would be tragic."

"What the hell do you want from me, Ishikawa?" Misaki spat out.

"You see, Misaki-kun.. if you don't do what I tell you to do, I _will_ publish the photos." There was no way for Misaki to get out of this and he wasn't going to let Takehiko publish the photos.

"What do you want me to do?" Misaki said in a shaky tone. Moments later he was crushed against the wall by Takehiko and before Misaki could react, Takehiko crushed his lips down atop Misaki's. Takehiko's kisses weren't soft and inviting like Usami's but rather cold and brutal. Immediately Misaki shoved Takehiko away from him with all his strength.

"No, no, Misaki-kun. When I want you to do something; you do it. If you don't, you're going to make me angry and we don't want that, do we?" Almost on cue with his words, Takehiko balled up his fist and hit Misaki in the stomach. Misaki fell to his knees and tried to gasp for air but was hit in the side of the face by the back of Takehiko's hand.

"Now where were we? " Takehiko murmured and reached reached down to grab a fist full of Misaki's hair. "Now, my pet. Take your clothes off. We're going to have some fun tonight. Oh, but don't worry... I'll have you home in time for dinner. We wouldn't want to worry Usagi-san now would we...?"

* * *

_Whew, that came out a bit longer than I expected. Poor Misaki. Chapter 4 coming soon!_


	4. Poena Dare

_Chapter 4: Poena Dare_

"Misaki..." Usami grumbled and pulled his fourth cigarette of the hour from its pack. Misaki's call had stressed him out and he assumed Misaki was off with that Keichii Sumi classmate of his. After the last... incident, Usami wanted Misaki to have nothing to do with the vile man. Usami had driven to Sumi's house and demanded Misaki back but was shocked to know Sumi hadn't seen him. Outside of Sumi, Usami wasn't sure that Misaki had any other friends from the University. He'd given a call to Kamijou to see if he knew who Misaki had left with, but in the end Usami had been given no information to Misaki's whereabouts. Misaki was still sick too and had no business being out of bed, let alone out of the house.

Usami threw himself on his back against the couch and stared up at the ceiling before he tried Misaki's cell phone again. The brat had turned his cell phone off and Usami's annoyance was turning into a form of subtle anger. He vowed that if Misaki wasn't back by dinner time that he'd go out looking for him.

Hours later when their usual dinner time arrived, Usami was still on the couch with his phone in his hands. He tried Misaki's number one more time before he was pulling his coat and shoes on to look for Misaki. He stepped outside of the door just in time to see Misaki staggering down the hallway.

"Misaki... where were you?" Worry was etched all over Usami's face.

Misaki wanted to break down and cry. He wanted to tell him everything about what Takehiko had done to him. Instead he did the only thing he could think of and he lashed out at Usami in anger.

"I told you, I was out with a friend!" Misaki snapped. He tried to keep his face to the floor and his sleeves pulled down so Usami wouldn't see the cuts and bruises that covered him from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet and everywhere in between.

"I was worried about you." Usami gave a grunt of frustration. He grabbed Misaki by the arm but let him go when Misaki let out a cry of pain. Panic raced through Usami and he pulled Misaki inside the apartment. "Misaki, what's wrong? Look at me." Usami commanded softly and stuck a hand out to pull Misaki's face up to be seen.

"Nothing! Go away! Stop touching me!" Misaki yelled and pulled himself away. _"No, I can't let him see; I can't let him touch me. He can't know..." _Misaki thought to himself.

"Misaki, what the hell happened to your face?" There were several small bruises and cuts with a large split on Misaki's lip. Different scenarios flashed through his mind and so help him if someone had hit Misaki, he'd kill them.

"I fell down the stairs at school! Leave me alone. I'm tired. I'm going to bed!" Misaki spat out and stomped away from Usami. He'd only gotten a couple of steps before Usami's arms were around his waist and he was being crushed into Usami's embrace. His whole body erupted into pain and instead of screaming in pain, he masked the screams of pain with angry words instead.

"Stop fucking around! I said leave me alone! I don't want to see you, so just go away!" Misaki didn't want to see Usami's face; he didn't want to see the pain he knew he had caused him. The words he had spat out were exactly the opposite of what he wanted. In his mind he was screaming, _"Hold me and don't let go. Don't let anyone else touch me ever again. Let me know it's okay; tell me I'm not worthless now. Tell me I'm not just an object. Tell me you love me..."_

"Misaki, you've still got a cold, you shouldn't be running around." Usami was confused and he wasn't quite sure what was going on. The argument at breakfast couldn't of been that bad, but maybe Misaki had a fever and was spouting out nonsense because of it.

"Shut up! I hate you. You... you... _Bakahiko_!" Misaki told himself he could keep strong enough to save Usami and Kamijou. He just needed to drive Usami away from him and make him hate him instead of love him. If Usami could hate him, then Usami would be safe.

"Wait, Misaki. Misaki!" Usami chased after Misaki, but Misaki managed to slam the bathroom door shut and lock it before Usami could get in. Misaki stood there with his back against the door until he finally heard Usami stomp away and slam his bedroom door. With a shaky breath and a muffled cry of pain, Misaki made his way to the shower.

The sound of the water drowned out Misaki's tears and the soft cries of pain from the water stinging against his cuts. He tried to wash away the memory of what he'd done and the way that man's hands felt on his body. He scrubbed his skin near raw and stayed under the water until in ran cold like ice cubes against his flesh. He scrubbed the bathroom down to hide the blood and stashed his clothes in his bedroom so Usami couldn't find them. He tore strips of his t-shirt into bandages to wrap around his wounds. They were all mostly superficial except for the large gouge on the side of his waist. He could deal with that on his own; going to the hospital would be just as bad as telling Usami what had happened. Instead he hid the wound well and locked his door so he could keep Usami from finding out.

Three weeks had passed since the incident and Misaki had arrived home a little later each night. Usami and Misaki were drifting apart further and further. It was a daily effort for Misaki to keep Takehiko's vicious beatings a secret. At least Takehiko had been nice enough to keep himself from hitting Misaki's face again. Over the weeks Misaki had grown thin and barely ate.

"Misaki, be careful!" Usami ushered and reached out to inspect the damage to Misaki's hand. Misaki had been spacing out and burnt his hand on the dinner he was cooking. Usami's heart nearly shattered in two when Misaki flinched away from his touch as if terrified or repulsed. Usami was worried about more than just a surface burn on his hand. Ever since the night Misaki had caught his cold, he hadn't seemed to get better at all, but instead seemed to get worse. He looked flushed and feverish but Usami had no way of telling how sick Misaki was. He thought about knocking Misaki out and dragging him to the hospital but decided against the violence in the end.

"_Dinner is ready..._" Misaki whispered softly. He set only enough food for Usami down; he still didn't have much of an appetite.

"Do I repulse you, Misaki?" Usami asked.

Misaki wanted to tell Usami that he was repulsed with himself for agreeing to become that man's plaything. If Usami held him, he knew he would tell him everything. He couldn't let Usami or Kamijou down, so in the end he opted to ignore Usami's statement.

"I'll make you some coffee." Misaki mumbled. There was a loud noise and sudden movement from Usami shoving himself to his feet. It startled Misaki into dropping the coffee pot. He tried to catch it before it hit the ground but the shattering of glass echoed in his ears and tiny shards surrounded his feet. He immediately dropped down to his knees to pick up the mess.

"You idiot! Don't move, you'll get cut!" Usami shouted. Panic and guilt filled Usami when Misaki jumped at his shouting and managed to slice his hand open on a shard of glass.

"I'm fine! Go away! I can handle this myself. I don't need you!" Misaki lashed back. He ignored his hand but jumped when Usami grabbed his wrist. He struggled to break free from Usami's hold but Usami still managed to tear a piece of his shirt off and wrap it around Misaki's hand.

"You're not fine! You're sick and you keep coming home later and later every night. Your clothes are always messed up when you get back and you don't think I smell it on you? Misaki, are you seeing someone behind my back?" Usami had finally said what he'd been thinking for weeks. He didn't want to think or admit that Misaki might be cheating on him, but with the way he was acting there was nothing left for Usami to think.

Misaki didn't answer immediately. He knew if he said no that he'd have to find some other excuse to push Usami away. He knew if he said yes, Usami would finally hate him and Misaki would be able to keep him safe. Takehiko never ceased to hold it above Misaki's head that he could ruin both Usami and Kamijou's lives. With that thought in mind and with tears in his eyes, Misaki answered the single word that would shatter his heart forever.

"Yes..."

A harsh realization came to Usami's eyes. His whole body began to tremble and he simply stared in anger at Misaki. How could Misaki be keeping this a secret from him? Usami hadn't wanted to think he had been thrown away by the one he truly loved, but it was true. In his anger, Usami spoke words he knew he didn't mean.

"Get out. Get the hell out and never come back..."

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_Hahaha. Oops! Edited for some typos. On to writing chapter 5! :D_


	5. Luctus Maero

_At the request of a review, I've made this chapter a bit longer than the others. I also apologize in advance for any spelling or grammatical errors that you may encounter. There are probably a gajillion of them. o_~;_

* * *

_Chapter 5: Luctus Maero_

"_Get out. Get the hell out and never come back..._" The words played over and over again in Misaki's head. He had left the minute Usami told him to. He wanted to go back, to confess everything and to revel in his selfish desire to be held and loved by the man he no longer deserved. Even if it was to save Usami and Kamijou's reputations and lives, Misaki had gone far enough as to intentionally make Usami hate him. He reasoned with himself that it was for Usami's own good that he did. He knew it was good that Usami was hating him. Usami would never have to know about Takehiko and the images and Misaki would continue letting that man use him. It was a brave choice to sacrifice himself for the betterment of other lives. He could truly be too selfless at times.

Misaki didn't know where he was going to go, but he knew he couldn't go back to Usami. If he did now, he'd let Usami know everything that had happened. He needed to stay strong and the only way he knew to do that was to distance himself once and for all. He wondered where to go and realize that he hadn't brought anything with him but the clothes on his back. His wallet, keys, and phone were all back at the penthouse with Usami. He could go to Sumi's and stay there for a while until he figured out his next move. Even if he didn't like what Sumi had done to Usami that one day, he was still one of the only friends Misaki had. He had let the issue of being used slide off his back in lieu of throwing a huge fit about it. Besides, Usami wasn't his anymore... technically.

Halfway to Sumi's, the dark sky opened up as if to cry for the pain and sadness surrounding he and Usami's lives. The raindrops were like ice against his flesh and they stung in bitter reminders of where his life was at now. He deserved this much for having done so many wrongs over the past few weeks. He had allowed that man, willingly or not, to put his hands on him and do what he wished to Misaki. While Usami's hands were cool, but kind... Takehiko's hands were warm like a raging fire that lapped at Misaki's skin in anger. Everything that was wrong in Takehiko's life had been taken out on Misaki and even when there was nothing to complain about, Takehiko found some form of an excuse to pin against Misaki. The was psychotic and Misaki feared if he angered him too much, he'd make good on the mumbled thread of erasing Usami's life. The mere thought of bodily harm to Usami caused Misaki to shudder and shake the images from his mind.

By the time Misaki arrived at Sumi's home, he was soaked through to the bone and his face was red and swollen with the tears he had been shedding the entire time. Misaki knocked at the door and tried the bell while he waited for Sumi to swing the door open and welcome him in with a warm cup of tea and that fake, annoying smile. Minutes stretched by and when nobody came to the door, Misaki tried again. He rang the bell and knocked in a slow rhythm for the next hour until he finally let himself realize that either Sumi was angry with him too or he wasn't home. He was reluctant to leave but finally allowed himself to wander out into the rain again. Since Sumi wasn't home, maybe gong to visit his brother didn't sound like such a bad idea. He didn't want to explain to Takahiro why he was out wandering in the rain, but he needed to know he was still loved by at least his brother. If at least one person could still love him for who he was then maybe, just maybe things would be okay.

Misaki almost didn't remember how to get to his brother's home without being on the train, but somehow he had managed in the end. It was dark and the lights were off but Misaki hoped that maybe they were just sleeping and weren't out for the night. He repeated the process of knocking and ringing the bell like had at Sumi's. He waited for his brother to throw the door open, to drag him inside and to tell him everything was going to be alright and that he'd take care of him. He wanted to be selfish and accept the warmth and comfort from the ones he loved instead of remembering the words that Takehiko spoke to him. Takehiko never failed to remind Misaki that he now belonged to Takehiko and anything Takehiko wanted... it was Misaki's job to provide that.

Misaki didn't know how long had passed... if it had been minutes or hours. Nobody came to the door and there were no arms that openly greeted him. It felt like the world was shunning him for what he'd done to Usami and for what he had become. He wondered if he even deserved to be loved at all. He was nothing now and not even his brother wanted him. Usami didn't want him, Sumi didn't want him, his brother didn't want him and Takehiko only wanted him to use and abuse. He didn't know of anyone else who cared about him or wanted except for maybe Haruhiko Usami. Misaki's mind thought back to the night in the hotel and the flowers he'd received. Haruhiko had also been nice and given him strawberries too. Even if Haruhiko had 'kidnapped' him and locked him away, at least he had had told Misaki he cared about him and wanted to steal him away from his brother. Maybe if Misaki went there he'd be welcomed in by Haruhiko and Tanaka. Usami was already angry with him and hated him now so if he went and saw his brother, where was the damage in that?

His journey through the rain continued and he'd had no idea how much time had passed or where he even was now. He was angry at himself for not remembering how exactly to get to where Haruhiko lived. Of course, he'd only been there once so far and he had been paying more attention to Haruhiko than to where the streets were taking him. Even on the way back to the penthouse in Usami's red sports car, Misaki hadn't paid clear enough attention to what streets they took. In the end he was left to wander around town until his limbs felt frozen and it was hard to move. There was no place else left for him to go except to make the trip to his brother and Sumi's place again. He made it back to Sumi's again and another round of knocking and doorbell ringing left him still without an answer. With each passing hour he felt more and more like an outcast who wasn't wanted by this world. He'd do so many wrong things and it was only himself to blame that had led him here.

So cold and numb from the rain, Misaki thought about going to his University to rest until he go could back to Takahiro's. The school wasn't too far away and he might be able to get inside this late. He just needed to warm up so his limbs would work again. He'd left without a coat and the rain had turned from feeling like ice cubes against his flesh to feeling like chunks of ice were slicing into his bones and preventing him from going anywhere. Misaki's stubborn nature and unwillingness to give up was the only thing that led him safely to the school. The lights that shined through the window seemed welcoming enough and he was able to step inside the doors to be greeted with the rushing warmth that he so sorely needed.

Misaki wondered if Kamijou might still be here. Maybe he could talk to Kamijou at least for a little while. His teacher wasn't always nice, but when Misaki did good on a paper, he got complimented justly. If he could just be complimented and told he mattered to at least someone for something, then everything would be okay. He kept telling himself everything would be fine if he could just get someone to let him know his life was still worth it. Manami, Takahiro, Usami, and Sumi had abandoned him already. Maybe he at least had his teacher left to care about him. He made his way back to his classroom and pulled the door open with numb hands. What awaited him wasn't Kamijou at all, but Takehiko himself. If it had been at all possible for Misaki's nerves to ice over any more they would have. With a knowing fear in his eyes, Misaki took two stumbling steps back when Takehiko's eyes rose to meet his own.

Usami hadn't moved from his spot for at least an hour after Misaki had left. He couldn't believe the words that Misaki had said; that he'd been cheating on him and spending his time with another man. He had never had anyone love him back and while he knew Misaki must've loved him back, the fact that Misaki had never outright told him had made him think that Misaki hadn't loved him in the first place. Did Misaki love this new man more than he did Usami or was there something more to it? He sat in torment until his mind snapped to where he had sent Misaki to. He'd told Misaki to leave and never come back but it was no telling where Misaki had gone or what trouble he could've gotten into. There was a chance he had gone back to the other man, but what if he hadn't? Misaki was stupid enough to roam the streets. Almost immediately Usami looked out of his window and noticed for the first time that a heavy rain was pelting down. Fear snaked into his heart and with trembling hands, he began to dial numbers to see if Misaki was perhaps at Sumi or Takahiro's.

"Dammit, dammit!" Usami yelled and slammed his phone down into the cradle. There was no answer at the Sumi residence Usami wondered briefly if Sumi wasn't the man Misaki had been out with. He knew better but it didn't stop him from wondering. The only way to know for sure if Misaki was there was to go back and look for him. Cheating on him or not, Usami couldn't stand the idea of being without Misaki or knowing Misaki might be out wandering in this rain. With a few more curse words sliding off of his tongue, Usami pulled his his coat on and bundled up to face the cold weather outside. It was finally then he noticed that Misaki's coat and shoes were still sitting by the door. Had that idiot left in his socks and no coat? Usami swore when he found Misaki he was going to wring his neck for being so careless.

He sped through the rain and dialed Takahiro's number on his cell phone. Getting no answer on their home phone, Usami dialed Takahiro's cell phone number. It was lucky for Usami that since the news of Manami's pregnancy had surfaced, Takahiro had made sure to keep a cell phone on him for emergencies concerning his wife. Usami chewed on the end of a cigarette in his mouth impatiently and when he heard Takahiro's voice on the line, Usami prayed to the Gods that Misaki was with him.

"Takahiro, is Misaki with you?" Usami sounded like hell.

"_No. I haven't seen him since... Ahikiko, is something wrong?!_" Of course Takahiro would panic.

"I don't know. He's... missing." Usami couldn't tell him that he'd drove Misaki out. He was ashamed of himself for his outburst and for potentially creating a dangerous situation for Misaki. If Misaki were hurt, he'd never forgive himself for letting it get like this. He'd kept his distance from Misaki because it had been demanded of him, but he knew he shouldn't of listened. Misaki was the type of guy who might not admit if something was going wrong with him because he wouldn't want others to worry. It was in this very moment that Usami debated if Misaki really had been cheating on him or not. It was a glimmer of hope that something else was going on that drove him to try even harder to find Misaki. The taste of the situation was bittersweet. If Misaki really hadn't been with another man, then where could he of gone?

"_Manami is going to head home to see if he shows up. I'll look around here to see if I can't find him._" At least Takahiro was acting sensible enough to actually look for Misaki instead of panicking and heading straight over to the penthouse. Usami was thankful that at least one of them was having a calm enough head about all of this.

"I'm heading over to his friends house. I'll keep looking around this side of town. Let me know if you find him." Usami hoped sorely that Misaki was either at Takahiro or Sumi's. It was all he could think in order for him to not break down over what he had done.

"_You call me the instant you know anything._" Takahiro demanded and with a click in Usami's ear, the phone conversation had ended for now. He arrived at Sumi's and swore he might knock the door down with his fist pounding against it. He let himself pound at the door for a few good minutes just in the case that they'd be sleeping inside. When nobody came he ruled it out as nobody being there and perhaps that Misaki was out somewhere with Sumi. Thinking that maybe Sumi had a cell phone, Usami was thankful he'd grabbed Misaki's phone while he was out. He flipped through the numbers on Misaki's phone and thankfully found a number for Sumi's cell phone.

"_Hello?_" Usami could tell it was Sumi's voice on the other line. Hoping above all that Misaki and Sumi were out somewhere getting a bite to eat or something, Usami tried to control the emotion in his voice. It was difficult but somehow managed.

"Have you seen Misaki? Is he with you?" Each word seemed more desperate than the last.

"_No, I haven't seen him since class this morning. Did you two have a disagreement? Need me to comfort you?_" Usami didn't seem too worried and it grated on Usami's nerves. Usami reminded himself to be civil and with great effort to control his tone, he replied.

"I don't have time for your games. If you see him, please give me a call." With that Usami clicked the phone off and slid back into his car. He tried to go over any of the places Misaki might go. He went to each and every one of them with the same result. Misaki wasn't there or hadn't stopped by at all. Usami was terrified for the worst and the last person he could think to call was Kamijou. He nearly dialed the number until he realized he was fairly close to where he knew the man was staying now.

Usami pulled up to the apartment and once again took the stairs two at a time. Pounding at the door, his eyes scanned around the room when the door was opened for him. He had a faint hope that maybe Misaki had come to visit his teacher for some reason or another. Instead it was Nowaki who answered the door.

"Usami-san. Are you alright? Come in..." Nowaki muttered and stepped aside to let Usami in. Nowaki noticed he was soaked from head to toe and looked like he might've seen a ghost. He was pale enough that it worried Nowaki and he immediately moved to the side and instructed Usami to sit down.

"I don't have that sort of time. Is Hiroki here?" Almost on cue, Kamijou appeared from around the corner with a perplexed look on his face. What was Usami doing here?

"What's wrong, Akihiko?" Kamijou demanded. He knew his friend long enough to know when something was going terribly wrong. The last time he had seen Usami like this was when that boy of his, Misaki, had fallen ill.

"Have you seen Misaki today?" Usami questioned impatiently.

"Not since class. He left as usual with his friend." Kamijou offered.

"Usual friend... Sumi?"

"Eh? No. He left with Ishikawa today." Kamijou thought nothing of it. After all, Misaki and Ishikawa seemed to be rather good friends.

"Ishikawa?" So it was true that Misaki was seeing someone else? Usami looked ready to tear something to pieces and cry at the same time.

"Yeah, they always leave together. Why? Where's Takahashi?" Kamijou ventured.

"I said something stupid and he left. I don't know where he went. He's still sick and he went out without wearing his coat or his shoes. I can't find him anywhere." Usami looked defeated. Kamijou admitted to never seeing Usami look so haunted before.

"Maybe he's still with Ishikawa." At least Kamijou could offer some sort of help.

"Is there a way to find out where this Ishikawa lives?"

Kamijou knew better than to think Usami would take no for an answer. Drawing in a large breath, Kamijou scratched his hand aside his head. "Give me a minute and I'll find out." Kamijou knew that his boss, You Miyagi, would still be at the school. He dialed up the number for his office and was delighted when Miyagi actually answered the phone.

"I need an address for one of my students." Kamijou grumped.

"_Ka-mi-jou-tenteeiii! How wonderful to hear your voi.._." Miyagi wasn't able to finish before Kamijou was snapping at him.

"I need that address now! It's important, you bastard!"

"_Yeah, yeah... what's the name_?" Miyagi knew better than to argue with Kamijou when he was like this.

"Takehiko Ishikawa."

Minutes passed by and Usami tapped his foot impatiently. He wished he had brought his cigarettes with him. He nearly demanded Kamijou give him update until he noticed that his long-time friend was scrawling down an address. He listed to the two of them exchange their goodbyes and nearly snatched the address from Kamijou when he handed it over to him.

"Akihiko. Don't do anything stupid, you got it?" Kamijou warned and went back to drying his hair. His eyes turned up to see Nowaki and that adorable look of worry on his face. Sometimes Nowaki wanted to help too much for his own good. He already knew what Nowaki was going to suggest and he knew telling Nowaki no was next to impossible.

"Hiro-san. I'll go with Usami-san. He said Misaki is still sick and he might need my help. Usami-san is it okay for me to go with you?" Nowaki's looked down to Usami and pleaded with his softly.

"Hurry up. I'm not going to wait for you." It was the kindest way for Usami to thank you. Honestly it was probably for the best that Nowaki decided to go with him. Nowaki was the closest thing there was to a doctor outside of the hospital. If Misaki had been wandering around the rain while being sick like this... there was no telling how much worse it

"Keep him out of trouble, Nowaki." Kamijou quipped and helped his lover slip his coat on. It was only seconds later until Usami and Nowaki were speeding through the streets towards Takehiko's home.

"Ta-Takehiko-san..." Misaki nearly whimpered out. He hadn't expected Takehiko to be here at all. He knew he was in trouble. Takehiko didn't take well to thing that didn't go according to his plan. In Takehiko's plans, Misaki was supposed to go home with him each night and then when Takehiko said he was done with Misaki, he drove him home and dropped him off a block from the penthouse.

"Ah, if it isn't Misaki-kun. You're drenched. That wont do... no, not at all. We'll need to go home and warm you up properly." There was no compassion in that voice, only a snarl of anger and frustration.

Misaki had only gone back to Takehiko's apartment with him because he was threatened again with Takehiko's promise to kill Usami. Misaki believed every word of it and so they were back at the apartment where it had all began.

"We'll need to take your clothes off. You can't dry properly with those sopping rags on." As soon as Takehiko finished his sentence, his hands were grabbing fistfuls of Misaki's shirt. He tore it apart all the way down the front and tossed it aside. Takehiko smirked at the job he'd done to Misaki's skin. Cuts, scraped, and bruises adorned Misaki's chest. He thought it suited Misaki very well. Such flawless skin was an eyesore and with the masterpiece Takehiko had left on Misaki's body, he was nearly satisfied. It needed a few more finishing touches before it could be complete.

"Ah, now comes the fun part." Takehiko chuckled and brought his fingers to his lips. He snaked his tongue out along his fingers and reached down to grab Misaki by the arm. He hauled Misaki to his feet and pulled him towards the back of the apartment. Takehiko dragged him to his bedroom and threw him down against the floor. He reached over to his dresser and pulled a knife into his hand. He'd always kept the knife there as a toy to play with when Misaki came over. He'd already left memory on Misaki's body from their playtime, but more playtime couldn't hurt.

"Now stay still or we might have an accident. We wouldn't want that now, would we?" Misaki stayed silent knowing that if he spoke, it was dangerous. Takehiko didn't like him talking and if Misaki talked at all, he knew his punishment was going to be much worse. He opted for silence instead. He wanted so bad to push Takehiko away from him and run. Even if he wanted to, his body was so numb from the cold that he could barely even move his fingers or toes.

The knife came down against Misaki's jeans and his eyes glued to the blade in the horror of memories. Takehiko had cut him many times with the blade and always blamed it on Misaki. It was always Misaki's fault. He knew if Takehiko cut him now, he'd blame that on Misaki as well. All he could do was watch and hope that he wouldn't be cut by the blade. He wanted to cry but knew tears would get him nowhere with this man. Takehiko hated tears unless he commanded them. All Misaki wanted was for this to be over and for Takehiko to have his fill for the night.

"Oh no! You're moving too fast! Looks like there'll be blood all over this time." Misaki hadn't yet moved nor was he cut so he was confused until he felt the sharp pain in the side of his leg. He looked to the side to see Takehiko stab the knife into the side of his thigh. A scream of pain ripped through Misaki. As soon as Takehiko withdrew the knife, Misaki managed through pure adrenaline to pulled himself to his feet and limp across the room. Misaki couldn't tell whether Takehiko was angry or if he found it rather amusing that Misaki had defied him by running away from him. Either way Misaki knew he had made a mistake. A torrent of angry laughter was spilling from Takehiko's lips. Misaki watched him raise the knife to his tongue and lick Misaki's blood from it. The man was insane and Misaki was afraid he might've pushed him over the edge.

"You're so feisty tonight... it pisses me off!" The laughter was gone from Takehiko's voice and he was rushing at Misaki. Misaki shrank back away from the wall because he was unable to go anywhere else in the small room. Takehiko crushed Misaki against the wall and crushed his lips down onto Misaki's. He kissed him angrily and bit Misaki's lips when Misaki protested him entry to his mouth. Misaki was forced to open his mouth to Takehiko's tongue. It was sickening and it made Misaki want to throw up. He couldn't breathe at all and he felt like he was going to pass out so he bit Takehiko's tongue. Takehiko withdrew from Misaki's mouth with a yelp of pain. Misaki sucked in a breath before he felt Takehiko's fist connect with the side of his jaw. The force knocked him off balance and he fell to the floor with a groan of pain from his leg.

"You ungrateful little asshole!" Takehiko spat out at him and tossed the knife aside so he could lean down and drag Misaki back to his feet. Takehiko tore the shreds that were left of Misaki's pants from his waist and snarled down at him. "Would you like me to teach you what happens to ungrateful little assholes like you?!" Takehiko spat and grabbed what little Misaki had left of clothing and ripped it off. Misaki felt repulsed to be bared before this man. He felt so weak and cold and he could barely move at all. His leg throbbed with pain but otherwise felt numb. Both legs went out from beneath him and he slammed into Takehiko's chest.

"Stand up or I'll kill your precious Usagi!" Takehiko bellowed and hauled Misaki to his feet again. He couldn't believe how obstinate the brat was being tonight. He was making it difficult on Takehiko to enjoy himself. He was really going to have his fun too. He debate cutting his own clothes off for fun but in in the end he didn't want to ruin his favourite shirt. Takehiko threw Misaki against the wall long enough to take his shirt off nicely. He didn't want to get blood on it either. His hands went to the buckle on his pants and before he could undo the buckle, the sound of the doorbell caught him offguard.

"Now I wonder... who could that be? Now stay here and be quiet. You wouldn't want me to kill our poor Kamijou-Sensei too, would you? I'll be right back, darling. I've got guests to entertain." Misaki was in no condition to move anywhere and he feared the man really would hurt them both if he said anything. His body sank to the floor again and he lay there shuddering in coldness and pain.

Takehiko slid his shirt back on and was quick to stuff Misaki's shredded shirt beneath the couch to hide it. He pulled his shirt back on and moments later he was at the door. He opened it slightly and wondered in the back of his mind if he wasn't just the luckiest person of the night. There stood Akihiko Usami and the man he knew was Hiroki Kamijou's lover. His face feigned pure innocence and he opened the door wide enough for them to peer inside but not so wide as to look too welcoming.

"Hello? May I help you?" Takehiko asked in his overly sweet tone.

"Misaki. Where is Misaki?!" Usami demanded and nearly made a move to shove past Takehiko. Nowaki restrained him and gave him a look that said to cool it. Nowaki took in a small breath and tried to speak for Usami.

"Have you seen him anywhere? He's been missing and we were told you were friends with him." Already Takehiko thought having the large male as a pet too would be fun. His mind reeled with scenarios but he stuffed them away for later use. He'd have this man too before too long; he'd make sure of it.

"Takahashi-san is missing? I haven't seen him since we left the coffee house this afternoon. Is everything okay?" Takehiko was great at masking his annoyance with a tone of worry. His act was flawless; he was a born actor.

"It's fine. I'm sure we'll find him. Thank you for time, Ishikawa-san and I'm so to have bothered you so late." Nowaki murmured.

"It's no problem at all. Would you like a quick cup of tea? You two look exhausted. I'm sure Takahashi-san will be alright. He's the stubborn type, you know?" Takehiko kept the worry in his voice and kept it as congenial as possible. If he offered the both of them tea but then reminded them that their dearest Misaki-kun was out somewhere then chances were they'd say no to the tea and continue to look for him.

"No thank you, but we appreciate the offer. Please call us if you find out any information." Nowaki said and scribbled down a couple of numbers for him to call. Takehiko thanked them both politely and offered the tea once more. Luckily they turned him down again and he let that be the end of it.

"Please let me know if you find out anything as well. Take care of yourselves." Takehiko said softly and as soon as the two were far enough away for his liking, Takehiko closed the door sweetly. His eyes peered through the eye hole long enough to watch the two of them get into a red sports car and speed away. Finally when Takehiko was satisfied that they were gone, his jovial face dropped into a mask of sheer anger.

Misaki, having heard Usami's voice had tried his hardest to get to him. He had made it almost to the door but his body was still too cold and refused to move too well. He couldn't help but begin to cry when he heard the door close and knew that Usami had left. At least Usami still cared about him to be here demanding to know where he was. Regret poured into him for his earlier words and he regretted them more than he had regretted anything in his life before. He just wanted to crawl into Usami's arms and go to sleep forever. He didn't want to have to do this anymore; he just wanted it all to stop.

"You told them where I lived?!" Takehiko yelled as he stormed back into the room. He grabbed Misaki by his hair and hauled him to his feet. Misaki stared at the man with fear in his eyes. He knew he was in serious trouble. He hadn't told Usami anything or given any clue as to where he had been. If Usami had been here, he had to of found out some other way. It wasn't Misaki's fault and he knew he was going to pay for whoever had found out.

"I didn't tell him... I don't know how he found out." Misaki braved.

"Don't lie to me, you little shit! I know you told him. I can't believe you betrayed my trust like that!" Takehiko was furious. He'd almost lost his little plaything. He snarled at how pathetic Misaki looked; he couldn't stand it. Misaki was still too ugly with his smooth skin; Takehiko felt he had to make his masterpiece more beautiful. Without warning his knee came hard enough into Misaki's chest to send the sound of cracking bones through the air. Takehiko found the sound to be heavenly.

Pain splintered through Misaki's chest and he found it difficult to breathe. He fought weakly to get out of Takehiko's grasp. He was afraid Takehiko would either accidentally or intentionally kill him.

"I'm going to have to punish you for telling that man where I live." Takehiko threw Misaki against the ground and went in search for his beloved knife. It always had a way of making his masterpiece perfect. Finding his knife laying across the room, Takehiko snatched it up and returned to heap on the floor. He'd never seen Misaki looking as beautiful as he did tonight.

"Now be quiet or I might make a mistake on my most beautiful of masterpieces." Misaki shuddered at the giggling he heard from the man above him. He could barely breathe and instead of feeling warmer, his body felt colder. He tried to move away from Takehiko and even managed to slap a hand out at the man until Takehiko flipped Misaki onto his back and leaned over him to straddle his waist. Takehiko was looking at him as if trying to figure out what he wanted to do next.

"Yes, that sounds right. We'll start... here." Takehiko took the tip of the knife and laid it across Misaki's cheek. Misaki struggled to get away from the blade but Takehiko tightened his legs around Misaki and pinned the smaller man into being nearly immobile. Misaki wanted to puke at the smirk that fell across Takehiko's face. He struggled to the best of his capabilities until he felt the sting of the knife's blade on his cheek. Takehiko chuckled and Misaki struggled even more to get away.

"Stay still!" Takehiko snarled and carved another small set of symbols into Misaki's cheek. Misaki kept struggling and finally Takehiko felt he'd had enough of Misaki's insolent behaviour. "I thought I told you to stay still. You just can't seem to listen tonight, can you? Do you know what happens to little insolent boys like you, Misaki-kun?" Takehiko chimed to him.

Before Misaki could react, he felt Takehiko's fist connect with his face again. His head jerked to the side and the familiar metallic taste of blood filled his mouth. In his defiance he turned his face to Takehiko and spit blood into Takehiko's eyes.

"Ah! You fucking little brat!" Takehiko screeched and pulled himself off of Misaki. Misaki's body snapped back into adrenaline mode. He hauled himself to his feet and tried his best to ignore the stab wound on his leg. With Usami in his mind, his hand clutched the knob of the bedroom door. He nearly twisted it completely around to open the door but didn't manage before Takehiko grabbed Misaki's hair in his fist.

"I think I'll have to retrain you. Oh what fun!" Takehiko spat out and slammed Misaki's face into the door once, then twice. Dazed and disoriented, Misaki's body slid to the floor again. Misaki could hear Takehiko pulling his clothes off and he knew what was coming next. All he could do was hope and pray it'd be over soon and that he'd be able to see Usami again.

"I don't like that bastard, he knows something!" Usami spat out as he drove around with Nowaki. At least the male was keeping him distracted even if he was angry at him for stopping him from bursting into Takehiko's home. He didn't like the man at all; something about him was wrong.

"I don't like it any more than you do, Usami-san but we can't just burst into people's homes like that." As much as Nowaki had wanted to burst in there too in search for Misaki, he needed to be the logical one for now. "How about we search around a few more places and if we don't see him, then we should check again to see if he went home." They'd already checked twice and this time Nowaki debated having someone stay at the penthouse while the other went out to search in the case that Misaki _did_ show up.

"If' he's not there this time, I'm going back to that bastards place and I'll beat the answers out of him." Usami snarled and sped through a red light. He was in no mood to obey every traffic signal.

"You were so disappointing tonight, Misaki-kun..." Takehiko muttered and dragged the half-conscious Misaki into his car. He drove him to the usual spot and when Misaki didn't immediately move, he grumbled and moved around to the other side of the car to pull him out by his hair. Misaki's naked body hit the cement hard and it jolted him awake enough to cry out softly in pain.

"Get lost. I'll see you tomorrow." Takehiko reached into the back and retrieved a small blanket from the back seat. Tossing it to Misaki in some failed effort of kindness, he left Misaki there and sped off towards his home. He wondered if he hadn't painted too much of a masterpiece in one sitting but decided in the end that it was okay. His art subject would come back to him. He always did.

The blanketed offered him no warmth but he took it more to cover his body than anything else. Every move he made hurt and he could hardly even manage to stand. Takehiko had hurt him more tonight than he had ever done. He knew he'd made Takehiko angry and he hoped beyond anything else that Takehiko wouldn't take his revenge out on Usami or Kamijou. Even if it killed him, he'd do it again tomorrow to ensure that Usami or Kamijou never suffered like he did.

For once in his life, Misaki was glad that there was nobody to see him like this. There was nobody there to try and offer him a helping hand or demand he go to the hospital. It was nearly like a ghost town and Misaki managed to slip into the building where he and Usami lived without being noticed. He wondered if it wasn't some sort of twisted charity from above that led him to the elevators.

The same time Misaki managed to step into the elevator that would bring him to the floor of their shared penthouse, Usami was whipping into the carport to check his apartment once again. He would make true on his threat to demand answers from that Takehiko bastard if it was the last thing he did. He didn't believe for one second that the man was uninvolved. If Usami had to guess, he'd say the kid had known exactly where Misaki was. Still, it wouldn't hurt to check the apartment one more time.

Usami opted for the stairs arguing to Nowaki that he could get there faster than it would take for the elevator to get back to the ground floor and pick them up. He took the stairs three at a time and didn't give himself the luxury of letting himself get tired up. He made it to the floor of his penthouse in record breaking time and didn't even spare a glance behind him to see if Nowaki was following him or not. It was a lucky thing that Nowaki was very fit or else he might've lagged behind Usami. He was lucky to keep in pace with Usami and he managed to gasp in a couple of breathes of air when they reached the top.

"Usami-san, slow down! Nowaki managed and followed after Usami again. He watched Usami stomp towards his apartment door and wondered if he had ever been like that too. He remembered the night he was supposed to meet Kamijou and ended up being late and reaffirmed that he knew exactly what it felt like. He manged a couple more breaths and began to follow Usami again until he stopped to let the people on the elevator out. What dragged itself from the elevator wasn't anything like he was expecting. "Usami-san, call an ambulance!" Nowaki yelled at him from across the hallway.

Nowaki was barely able to catch Misaki before he tumbled into a heap on the ground. The sudden stop from the elevator had disoriented Misaki greatly and he had nearly passed out. He was still barely conscious enough to know there were arms around him that weren't Usami's. He struggled weakly with Nowaki to get away from. He was caught in some horrible idea that Takehiko had come back for him.

Usami had nearly made it into the door of the penthouse until he heard Nowaki. He spun on his heels and ran to Nowaki's side to see what he was sure was Misaki struggling to get away from Nowaki. Usami quickly dropped to his knees and put his hands on Misaki to try and calm him. "Misaki. Misaki! Stop struggling. Stop it, you're only going to hurt yourself!" Usami commanded.

Misaki registered Usami's voice and immediately stopped struggling. Usami was horrified with what he saw. He was both angry and terrified at the state Misaki was in. He could barely see an inch of flesh that wasn't bruised, battered, or cut. Usami had never cried in front of anyone except for Misaki but he couldn't stop the tears now that spilled down his cheeks. He tore his coat off and wrapped it around Misaki tightly while Nowaki called an ambulance.

"Misaki, who touched you? Who the hell touched you?!" Usami's raged and tried to get an answer from Misaki. When no answer came, he let it go for now and simply held Misaki against his chest. He was going to kill whoever had put their hands on Misaki.

* * *

_Ooch. Poor Misaki. Don't worry; I could never kill off Misaki, I love him too much! Stay tuned for chapter 6. It may be a bit longer since Youmacon is coming up. Yaaay!_


	6. Itines ad Recuperatio

_Chapter Six: Itines ad Recuperatio_

In a pale-lit corner of the Hospital's waiting room, Akihiko Usami sat rigidly in a chair with his head in his hands. Dried blood still covered every inch of him and only sound he made was the occasional soft hitch of his breathing. Usami had been sitting in the same position for hours and moved his eyes only once to greet Misaki's brother. Takahiro had made no move to pin any blame on Usami, but Usami thought it would be easier if he had. Takahiro had no knowledge of what Usami had done and how he was responsible for Misaki being here, but if Takahiro knew that, then surely he would hate Usami for it. Already Usami was tormenting himself over and over for what he had done. He thought if he hadn't told Misaki to leave and never come back, that Misaki would be home right now, cooking them a wonderful dinner. Because of him Misaki was like this and Usami felt like he was going to lose the one thing he truly loved more than life itself.

"Usagi..." Usami moved his tear-stained eyes to Takahiro when the man touched his shoulder. He made no move to speak or to brush the hand from his shoulder. Takahiro offered him a cup of coffee and while he didn't want it, he accepted the cup out of what little rational thinking he had left. He thought about trying to get into the room again to see Misaki, but after the fourth time of having to be dragged away, Usami had been told to stay put or risk getting kicked out of the hospital completely. He had begrudgingly accepted to stay here, but with each passing moment he wanted to say the hell with it and rush in again. If not for Takahiro's presence and the idea of being locked out of the hospital, Usami knew he'd already be parading back towards the operating room. A shackled sigh of defeat fell past his lips and Usami silently thanked Takahiro when he felt a blanket being draped over his back and shoulders.

Three hours passed and the cup of coffee in Usami's hands remained untouched. He felt exhausted and near insanity. The sound of heavy footsteps pulled his eyes forward and when he spotted Nowaki, he immediately shot to his feet. The blanket tumbled carelessly into a heap at his legs. He was trembling all over and he nearly recoiled from shock when Manami pulled the cold cup of coffee from his hands. He tried his best to gauge from Nowaki's expression what condition Misaki was in. He visibly relaxed just a hair when he realized Nowaki was alone and not accompanied by a man of the cloth. "Where's Misaki?!" Usami demanded in a raspy voice.

"He's alright, Usami-san. Please, calm down." Nowaki paused and turned to address Usami, Takahiro, and Manami. "The operation went better than expected. They'll be setting him up in a regular room soon and as soon as the okay is given, I'll bring you to him." Nowaki wanted to talk to Usami personally about a few things and about the idea that someone had been hurting Misaki for a while now. Still, he knew he needed to give a report to Misaki's family as well. It was hard for him to think about and talk about everything that had been done to such a precious boy, but in the end Nowaki knew it was part of his job.

"While his life is in no sort of danger, there were some things that could not be fully repaired." Nowaki thought it was as good of a start as anything. "Although we are not able to know to what exact extent, Misaki may no longer be able to speak as regularly as he used to, or at all." It was probably best to spare the details as to why Misaki couldn't. "During the examination, we found marks on his body suggesting that this may not of been an isolated incident." Again he paused before continuing on. " Our tests show he has suffered severe head trauma..." Nowaki stopped speaking at the near simultaneous intake of breathing he heard. He took a moment to breathe in and gather himself before he continued on. "We have no reason to believe any damage was done to his brain, but we did find extensive damage to suggest that his vision may have suffered tremendously. Until we can run further tests, we wont know the extent..."

"That's enough!" Takahiro interjected. Nowaki silenced himself and held his clipboard to his chest defensively. Takahiro began to speak again and Nowaki listened quietly. "Misaki is alive, that's all that matters for now. Please bring us to him as soon as possible.." Nowaki gave a gentle nod and turned to leave before Takahiro's words caught his attention and he turned to face the man once more. "Are you Kusama-san, the one who was with Usagi when you found Misaki?" Nowaki flinched at the anger in Takahiro's voice. He wondered if the man didn't hate him for not being able to do more for Misaki. He felt guilty that he couldn't do more for Misaki and he would understand if Takahiro ended up pinning a lot of the blame on his shoulders.

"Yes, Sir." Nowaki answered softly and honestly. He could see Takahiro's body relaxing and the anger fading from his face. "Thank you, Kusama-san." Nowaki softened at the words and fought to hide back his own tears that threatened to spill. "Thank you very much, Sir... but Usami-san is the one you should be thanking." Nowaki mumbled gently. He gave a polite nod to Takahiro and Manami while casting a sidelong, understanding glance to Usami. "Usami-san, before we can allow you to see Misaki, you'll have to clean yourself up." Nowaki finished and politely took his leave from the waiting room.

An hour later and Nowaki was warning Usami, Takahiro, and Manami of what they were about to see. Usami had taken the initiative to strip off his blood covered vest and dress shirt to leave him in a semi-clean t-shirt. He'd cleaned his arms and hair as best he could too but was still caked in splotches of red here and there. Without waiting for Nowaki to finish, Usami shoved past him and into the room. What greeted him had his steps faltering. Luckily the wall was near and he braced himself against it as he tried to comprehend exactly what he was seeing. He could barely see Misaki at all beneath the layers of gauze and intravenous tubing. His eyes immediately took note of the cast on Misaki's right arm and the way his right eye was covered completely with bandages. The mask over Misaki's face terrified Usami and he tore his eyes to the beeping of the heart rate monitor as if it would give him some semblance of peace in knowing Misaki was alive and not dead.

Usami was terrified that if touched Misaki, he might somehow break him. He blamed himself for everything and for not noticing what was going on. Usami didn't believe for a single minute now that Misaki had been doing anything behind his back. If he had been with any other man, in any type of way, then it wasn't with Misaki's consent. Usami's mind ran away with so many different scenarios that his fear and sadness soon turned into complete rage. He vowed to kill whoever had touched Misaki. He had a good idea of who had done it and he'd strike himself down where he stood if he didn't think Ishikawa had been the cause of Misaki's condition. He berated himself for letting Nowaki stop him from barging in and he was even a little upset at Nowaki even if he couldn't bring himself to take it out on the man.

It was the sound of Takahiro crying that shook Usami from his blood thirsty visage. He wanted to comfort Takahiro but found it undeserving of him to even try. His mind flashed with the idea of jumping from the balcony of his penthouse to end it all. The irregular beeping of monitors tore him from his thoughts with fear, but he was comforted when Nowaki's hand came to his shoulder and Nowaki assured him that nothing outside of the obvious was wrong with Misaki. Hours later and Usami still stood in the same spot while Manami slept in a chair and Takahiro slept with half of his body on Misaki's bed. Takahiro had never once let go of Misaki's hand and Usami wondered if he even had the right to be here. Because of him, Misaki was like this. Because of him, another man had put his hands on Misaki. His teeth grit together angrily and he closed his eyes against the murderous rage that flowed within his mind.

Usami's thoughts were broken when he heard a soft gasp and tore his gaze to see Misaki stirring in the bed. If not for the machines beeping away as normal, Usami might have thought Misaki was taking his last breath. Usami was at Misaki's side in an instant as worried as he was that he might break Misaki if he touched him, Usami gently placed Misaki's hand within his own. "Misaki, Misaki!" Usami ushered out and looked to the boy. He wasn't sure if Misaki could see him, but he knew Misaki would be able to hear him. Usami tried his best to keep his emotions in control for Misaki's benefit, but it was a battle he was having a hard time winning.

Misaki tried to speak, but found it completely impossible. He gave a squeeze to Usami's hand with what strength he could muster to let the man know it was alright. Misaki tried to focus his blurry gaze to the world around him. Soon the beeping of machines, the sterile scent around him, and seeing the room told Misaki he was in the hospital. Alarm bells rang inside of Misaki's head and he immediately began to struggle and try to pull himself up and away from the bed. If he didn't get to Ishikawa's on time, there was no telling what Ishikawa would do. Misaki was sure it was pure luck that had kept Ishikawa from killing him last night. He didn't believe for a second that Ishikawa was incapable of it. He knew if he had pushed Ishikawa any further that the man would have gone overboard and killed him.

"Idiot! Quit moving around!" Usami boomed. Misaki shrank back against the violence in his voice and against the pain it caused to bounce around in his head. He slipped his hand from Usami's and rose it to his head to hold it there. Usami noticed the gesture and immediately felt horrible for yelling at Misaki. Misaki lavished the air that the oxygen mask provided and he breathed in as deeply as he could before he dared to open his eyes again. He finally noticed Takahiro and everything in him froze in panic. Misaki didn't want his brother to see him like this or know anything about what was going on. He felt mortified, saddened and in the end, he felt more angry than he was sure he had ever been in his entire life. The obvious look on his face beneath the mask was pure anger but the anger vanished when he looked to Usami's face. Usami looked so haunted that Misaki wanted to gather the larger man up in his arms and sooth away his fears.

"_U...s..._" Misaki tried to say. A barely audible, raspy whispered followed and he felt so exhausted for his efforts afterwards. He closed his eyes to fight back the edgings of a headache. He needed to get out of here and to Ishikawa if he was going to save Usami and Kamijou-Sensei from the wrath of that man. With a soft shudder of his breath, he fought to open his eyes but sleep overtook him and he drifted off to darkness once again. As soon as Misaki was fully asleep, Usami took Misaki's hand in his own again and brought Misaki's hand to his forehead. He held it there for many moments and whispered soft, inaudible apologies to Misaki for everything he had done. He didn't expect Misaki to forgive him, but he knew he was as good as dead without Misaki at his side. In order for Usami to survive, he needed Misaki.

"Usagi, please, come with me. Manami will tell us if anything changes. You should finish cleaning yourself up too. We need to be careful or we might make Misaki's wounds worse." Takahiro had other things in mind, but the most obvious thing he could think to tear Usami away was what he went with. He had never Usami like this over anything or anyone and while he loved his friend dearly and thought he was equally stubborn, his mind was swarming with a million and one things to speak about. He hitched in a breath and let it in a soft, broken sigh. Usami reluctantly decided to follow him and Takahiro led the both of them to the cafeteria for some coffee. As worried as he was for his brother and as much as he didn't want to leave Misaki's side, Takahiro cared for Usami too and he could see the torment and sadness in his friend's eyes with every breath he took. He purchased two coffees and gave one of them to Usami before he drew in a breath and spoke what was on his mind.

"Usagi, what's going on between you and my brother? I've saw the way you were looking at him. I may be pretty dense and kind of a space case, but I know that look well enough.." Takahiro paused lightly and wet a few napkins with a bottle of water. He cleaned missed specs of blood from Usami's face before he spoke again. "Tell me and please... don't lie to me about this. Are you... in love with my brother?" He asked softly, but frankly. Usami nearly dropped his cup of coffee at those words but quickly recovered as to not scald he or Takahiro with the hot liquid.

"What... would make you think that?" Usami tried to play it off when in fact, he was terrified to tell Takahiro the truth. He set his cup of coffee down on the condominium bar with shaking hands. Peeling the lid off, Usami busied himself with pouring sugar into his coffee as a distraction. Takahiro knew well that Usami hated sweets and he admitted that it made him slightly angry that Usami felt he couldn't come to him with this. He couldn't say he liked the situation, but far be it from him to stop anyone who was in love. He wasn't so dense at not of seen what was in Misaki's eyes and heart as well. Takahiro closed his eyes for a moment to steady his thoughts before he put a hand over Usami's coffee. Sugar spilled over his hand like grains of sand and Takahiro thought it was somewhat soothing.

"Usagi, please... answer me. Are you in love with my brother?" Usami finally stopped pouring the sugar into his coffee and set the shaker aside. His arms fell to his sides and his eyes turned to looked to the floor in shame. Usami felt like he was betraying Misaki, but the idea that Misaki could hate Usami might've been good for the boy in the long run. Usami balled his fingers into his palms hard enough to nearly draw blood and with a shaky breath, he answered truthfully. "Yes... I'm so sorry, Takahiro." Usami closed his eyes and waited for the screaming and berating to come.

"Akihiko..." Caught off-guard by Takahiro using his name, Usami braved enough to raise his eyes to meet Takahiro's. Takahiro saw fear, sadness, confusion, love, and tenderness there and he wondered if it was such a bad thing that Usami and Misaki had fallen for each other. Takahiro heaved a defeated sigh and set his coffee down before raising his hands to grasp face lightly with his palms. He pulled Usami's face down level with his own and pressed a soft kiss to the larger male's forehead. "It's alright..." Takahiro murmured to Usami. He could be angry and rage, but the fact of the matter was, right now wasn't the time for that and he didn't feel the need to anyway. As horrified as everyone was, he knew Usami must've blamed himself for it all.

Usami's eyes snapped to Takahiro's in a mixture of shock and confusion. He had fully expected Takahiro to punch him and call him names and forbid him from ever seeing Misaki again. It would have been so much easier to deal with, but instead his friend was trying to comfort him when he was undeserving of such things. Usami had tried his hardest to remain strong, but the facade he had put so many years into was slowly crumbling and he found it impossible to keep himself from crying. Usami had never in his life wanted this man of all men to see him cry. Every breath he took was a struggle to keep from crying until Usami's hands fell to Takahiro's arms and balled the material of Takahiro's shirt into his fists. Finally relenting, Usami hung his head and let hot tears sting his cheeks. Usami's crying grew louder with each passing moment and when Takahiro pulled Usami into him and embraced the man, Usami broke completely. Usami had never cried so hard for anything or anyone as he did now. Usami was sure he would die in hell for seeking comfort in Takahiro's arms instead of throwing himself in front of a firing squad for his crimes against Misaki.

While Usami and Takahiro were tucked away in the cafeteria, Manami brushed her fingers through the sleeping boy's hair. She couldn't even begin to imagine what he had gone through and it filled her heart with a deep sadness. Manami couldn't even begin to understand how someone could take advantage of a person as sweet and lovable as Misaki. She remained strong for her husband, for Misaki, and even for the man she could clearly tell was in love with this boy. Manami was very observant and she had suspected something the night Misaki had valiantly defended Usami from Takahiro. Manami could only hope that Takahiro would be able to understand the love that blossomed between Usami and Misaki. She knew she would do whatever she could do to help all three of the men along. Manami sighed and placed her hands over the tiny swell of her stomach. She reflected over how life was supposed to be filled with love, joy, and happiness. With a chaste, gentle kiss to Misaki's brow, Manami rose herself away from the bed for just a moment. Unfortunate for her, being pregnant meant she had little to no control over her bladder. She was sure Misaki would be fine by himself for just a few moments.

As soon as the click of the bathroom door sounded, Misaki snapped his good eye open quickly. He'd been awake for a while now and he knew if he was going to get away from here and to Ishikawa's, he'd have to move quickly. He set up a plan he was sure might work at least just a little. It always seemed to work in the movies and Misaki thought if he was lucky, it would work for him too. He lavished a couple of deep breaths that the oxygen mask provided for him and with a grunt of trying to ready himself for what was to come, Misaki bit back a silent cry of pain and pulled himself out of the bed. He nearly buckled over but worked with determination to stay on his feet. The beeping of the machines spiked momentarily and Misaki eyed the intravenous tubes that were hooked into his wrists and the crooks of his elbows. He yanked the machines with him towards the door to the bathroom and stood for just a second to try and gain his bearings.

With a few shallow breaths, Misaki ripped the intravenous tubing from his body. The sudden shock of pain made him feel sick to his stomach and he nearly hurled, but managed to keep it at bay. His head swam and Misaki swayed slightly and nearly passed out but was able to catch himself at the last second. He grabbed some of the tubing and quickly wrapped it around the handle to the bathroom door, then around a hook that was sticking from the wall behind the door. It was difficult to achieve with one arm but he was sure it would be fine to hold Manami for a while. The flurry of beeping picked up in his room, alarming both Manami and the hotel staff that the machines had either been severed from Misaki's body, or Misaki had just died on them.

With a little luck, adrenaline, and drugs, Misaki managed to make it to the elevator unnoticed. The elevator lurched and again, Misaki nearly passed out. When the elevator stopped at basement level, Misaki stumbled out haphazardly and rested his weight against the elevator door to catch his breath. It was difficult without the oxygen mask but he managed in the end. The dark green of his eyes scanned around to make sure nobody was there before he pulled himself along the wall and to the stairwell nearby. With a renewed vow to protect his teacher and lover, Misaki dragged himself up the stairs and to the door that led out into the back of the hospital. He manged to make it out of the hospital and disappear into the busy city undetected. If Misaki had been feeling any better he'd of boasted about pulling of a stunt that surely only worked in the movies.

Misaki wondered if the world wasn't playing some sick joke on him. Ishikawa's apartment was less than a block away from the Hospital and Misaki had managed to make it up the stairs and to the door of Ishikawa's apartment without a single person noticing him or making an attempt to stop him. Misaki was clad in a half-open hospital gown with bandages covering his body and dark marks of sutures across his pale flesh. The acrid sting of the October cold nipped at him and he hoped that Ishikawa would take pity on him and be kind. Misaki knew better and with the deepest sorrow and fear filling his heart, Misaki weakly rapped against Ishikawa's door with his good arm. Moments later the door swung open to a very annoyed Ishikawa. The larger man pulled Misaki into the apartment by his hair and slammed the door behind him. "You're late, Misaki-kun..." Ishikawa reprimanded and snarled to Misaki.

Back at the hospital, a flurry of panic was beginning to brew. Doctors, nurses, and hotel staff were scampering across the entire hotel in search for Misaki. Nowaki knew Misaki was in no condition to be out of bed, let alone walking around. Nowaki was quick to try and page Misaki back to the room before he paged out to Usami and Takahiro. Within seconds he saw Usami tear through a hoard of doctors to get to Misaki's room. Hoping that the boy was still in the hospital, Nowaki jumped slightly when he heard the raging boom of Usami's voice. "Where the fuck is he?!" He heard Usami shout. Offering himself up to try and calm the man down, Nowaki spoke softly, but firm. "Get a hold of yourself, Usami-san. Misaki locked Manami in the bathroom and escaped. We're not sure if he's still in the hosp..." Nowaki was cut off mid-sentence by the raging Usami.

"I'll kill him, I'll fucking _kill _him!"" Usami spat out and turned on the balls of his heels. "Takahiro, stay here with your wife! I'm going to get Misaki back." He ordered and took off towards Ishikawa's residence. Luckily Nowaki had finished his shift and decided to trail behind Usami. He could see small beads of of blood drop sparingly from Usami's palms. He severely hoped the man wasn't serious about putting the weight of death on his hands. However, Nowaki knew better than to think Usami had any other plans aside death for Ishikawa. If it came down to it, Nowaki would stop Usami from committing murder. Nowaki followed behind Usami down the stairs of the hospital and out into the bustling city.

"The hospital? Oh Misaki-kun, how dramatic. If you had just listened, you wouldn't be in that condition. Now, you see..." Ishikawa paused and went rummaging around in the drawer to his coffee table before he pulled out the stack of photos he often liked to taunt Misaki with. "If you don't want me to publish these, we'll have to double your punishment for being so insolent." Ishikawa chuckled softly but the chuckle turned into an annoyed smile. He threw the pictures down on the coffee table and shoved Misaki back against the wall of the his apartment. He wanted to punish the boy for being so insolent as to let anyone know where he lived, then to let anyone else touch his play toy.

Misaki let out the barest whispered gasp of pain at being shoved into the wall. His face contorted in pain and Ishikawa's words echoed into his head painfully. "You look so beautiful like this, Misaki-kun. You're so... positively fuckable!" Ishikawa's hands bit into the flesh of Misaki's legs hard enough cause Misaki to grit his teeth in pain. He felt sick to his stomach and nearly lurched when Ishikawa's hands traveled up his legs and settled on his thighs. Misaki shuddered and tried to focus on anything other than Ishikawa. His attempts were short lived when Ishikawa noticed Misaki's thigh was stitched an wrapped in gauze. "What the fuck is this?! You're _my _plaything! Did I say anyone else could touch you hear? You fucking whore!"" Ishikawa spat at him and shoved his into the wound at Misaki's thigh. The sutures tore apart and Misaki's fingers raked into Ishikawa's arm at the renewed pain. It was all too much for Misaki to handle and he tumbled to the floor in quiet, raspy gasps of pain.

"You're worthless!" Ishikawa spat at Misaki. "Stand up!" He ordered. Misaki was unable to move his leg at all, let alone stand. "I stand stand up!" Ishikawa ordered again. When Misaki still made no move to stand, Ishikawa snarled to the boy and brought his foot up to kick Misaki in the face. Misaki fell to the side and his free hand clutched his battered face in pain. He tried to gasp for air but his throat quickly filled with the iron tang of blood. Misaki coughed enough of the blood out of his mouth to draw in a breath. The world spun webs of darkness around him and it threatened to consume him entirely. He sorely hoped Ishikawa wouldn't kill him, but he wasn't so sure anymore. His consciousness fading in and out in rapid succession, Misaki was jolted from his stupor when he realized Ishikawa had dragged him to the bedroom and threw him violently against the floor. Old blood stains mixed with new specs of blood and Misaki lay at the mercy of whatever it was Ishikawa was going to do to him.

"Misaki-kun, you're so beautiful but you're just not perfect yet." Ishikawa quipped and retrieved his favourite knife from atop the dresser. Straddling Misaki, Ishikawa began to slice away at the hospital gown and bandages until he drew back with a hiss of anger. "What the _fuck_ is this?!" Ishikawa demanded and studied the suture that ran from the top of Misaki's throat to the bottom of his abdomen. Ishikawa found it disgusting and he made a move to rip the suture out completely until his eyes spotted an unmarked patch of pale flesh on Misaki's shoulder. Annoyed more at the unmarked flesh than the suture for now, Ishikawa raised the knife over his head with a sadistic smirk.

At the exact moment Ishikawa plunged the knife into Misaki's shoulder, Usami was kicking the door to Ishikawa's apartment in. The shock from the stab to his shoulder jolted Misaki's body violently and the pain, coupled with the blood thickening in the back of his throat made it impossible for him to breathe. He tried to gasp for breaths of air but could bring nothing in. Misaki wasn't even aware that Usami had stormed into the bedroom and literally kicked Ishikawa off of Misaki's body. Misaki clawed for any sort of air at all as Usami hauled a dazed Ishikawa to his feet and repeatedly pummeled his fists into the man's face. "How _dare _you touch _my_ Misaki! I'll fucking _**kill **_you!" Usami screamed at finally stilled his fists long enough to throw Ishikawa into the dresser aside the door. So caught up in his commitment to killing Ishikawa, Usami hardly noticed that Misaki's flesh was beginning to turn blue.

Luckily, Nowaki arrived moments later and while he wanted to stop Usami from committing murder, Misaki was his immediate priority. Nowaki assessed the situation as best as he could and immediately tried to get Misaki to breath. He noticed the pool of blood in Misaki's mouth and he gently tipped Misaki's head to the side to drain the blood out as best he could, when Misaki still refused to breath, Nowaki knew he was going to have to breathe fir Misaki. He silently apologized to Misaki, Hiroki, and Usami before he covered Misaki's lips with his own and forced air into Misaki's lungs. Finally Misaki coughed and sputtered on his own. Taking Misaki's soft gasps for air as a good sign, Nowaki took the shreds of Misaki's hospital gown and wrapped it around the knife to keep it stable. Pulling the knife from his shoulder may of done more harm the good. He then pulled the thick quilt off of the bed beside him and wrapped Misaki as tenderly as he could within. He wrapped him in another blanket and lifted him softly from the floor to place his battered body onto the bed.

It was when Nowaki turned to pull Usami off of Ishikawa that he spotted a photo of himself from the corner of his eye. He dared to take a look at it and noticing the content of the photos, Nowaki shoved a pillow aside to reveal a stack of photos that contained not only he and Hiroki, but Misaki and Usami. Everything suddenly made sense to him and it made him want to help Misaki kill the man. In the end Nowaki's morals won and he moved quickly to keep Usami from killing the man.

"Usami-san, Usami-san!" Nowaki paused and tried again. "Akihiko Usami!" Nowaki winced quietly softly in apology before he punched Usami in the face. The force of the punch knocked Usami aside, if only for a moment. Nowaki was quick to insert himself between he and Ishikawa. While Nowaki didn't know the extent of damage Usami had done, or fairly care, he wasn't going to let Usami kill the man. Nowaki fully expected Usami's reaction to be in rage and when Usami came at him, Nowaki ducked down and managed to catch Usami in the stomach with his knee. Usami doubled over for a second to gasp in a breath and Nowaki spoke to him in a loud, firm voice. "Now isn't the time for this! You need to get Misaki to the hospital _**right now**_ or he'll _die._" Nowaki exaggerated the truth a bit, but figured it was best to drill the idea that Misaki may die into Usami's mind. He heaved in a breath and was thankful when realization seem to wash over Usami's face. He instructed Usami to be gentle and not remove the knife from Misaki's shoulder.

Nowaki heaved in another sigh when Usami disappeared out of his sight and towards the hospital. Nowaki then turned and checked Ishikawa's vital signs. Ishikawa's pulse and breathing were both strong enough that Nowaki was sure no real damage had been done to the man. He nearly regretted not letting Usami kill him, but in the end Nowaki knew it was better of this way. Nowaki noticed Ishikawa was starting to come around and while Nowaki wasn't going to kill the man, he had no qualms about beating Ishikawa within an inch of his life. "Are there more photos?!" Nowaki demanded and hauled Ishikawa to his feet. Slamming Ishikawa back against the wall, Nowaki waited impatiently for the man to answer him. Ishikawa only laughed and even dared to smirk at Nowaki. It enraged Nowaki enough to slam man against the wall a few more times before he demanded once more. "Are there any more?!"

Ishikawa contorted his face in pain for a moment and finally gave Nowaki his response. "Plenty more... and unless you want me to publicize your relationship with your dear "Hiro-San", you'll do exactly as I say." Ishikawa taunted in remembrance of the endearment Nowaki used for Kamijou. The murderous intent he saw flashing into Nowaki's eyes excited him, but he wasn't prepared for Nowaki's response. Nowaki hauled the man off of his feet and pulled him back away from the wall. "Tell me where the rest of the photos are or I swear to God, I'll kill you." Ishikawa sensed the man was telling the truth. He wasn't easy to manipulate and control like Misaki was. Annoyance filtered into Ishikawa's mind and he gave Nowaki an amused laughter. His laughter turned into a sharp gasp of pain when Nowaki shoved his knee full force into Ishikawa's groin. Nowaki shoved him back against the wall again and demanded once more. "Where are they?!"

Forging a plan in his mind as to how to trick Nowaki, Ishikawa nearly purred at his own ideas. He'd tell the man what he wanted to know, but in the end he'd kill him just to see how beautiful the man would look in death. He quickly threw himself into acting mode and he looked to Nowaki with all the fake fear he could muster. "Alright, alright, I'll tell you. In the living room, on the coffee table. There's another stack in the bathroom along with the negatives and a disk. That's all, I swear." He was happy to see Nowaki take the bait so easily. He dramatically fell to the floor when Nowaki let go of him and while he was fully capable of moving, Ishikawa made himself appear immobile and as soon as Nowaki disappeared from his sight, he set his plans into motion.

Nowaki's mind reeled with getting rid of the photos and quickly he went about the apartment collecting photos and stashing them in his black bag he'd forgotten he had with him. He managed to gather the strewn about photos in the bedroom and the living room before making his way into the bathroom. He searched a couple of drawers until he finally found the more images, the negatives, and a disc that he assumed had the same pictures on it. He was thankful Ishikawa was at least somewhat compliant. It had taken all of Nowaki's willpower to search for the photos instead of choking the life out of that Ishikawa bastard. When finally Nowaki gathered and stashed away all the evidence he could, he turned to leave and was met with and angry Ishikawa lunging towards him.

Nowaki was able to move to the side quick enough to avoid a potentially fatal blow to the back of his head. The bathroom was so narrow and he such a large man that Nowaki found it difficult to move at all. Nowaki tried to shove past Ishikawa but managed to tumble backwards and fall into the bathtub instead. He tried to shove himself to his feet when Ishikawa pulled a straight-razor from one the drawers and came at Nowaki with it. Nowaki didn't have to guess that the man wanted to kill him. He moved his hand in the way in time and instead of the razor slicing down through his throat, it managed to barely knick the side of his wrist. Nowaki kicked out viciously and Ishikawa tumbled backwards. Managing to pull himself out of the bathtub, Nowaki made a made dash for the razor that Ishikawa had dropped. He managed to grab it and slid it back into its handle before he delivered another kick to Ishikawa. He jumped over the man's body to get out of the bathroom. Nowaki only managed a step before Ishikawa spun around and kicked at the back of Nowaki's knees.

Pain rippled into Nowaki's legs and he hit the ground hard. Out of habit he rolled to the side and barely managed avoiding a foot to his face. Noticing the razor had fallen from his hand, Nowaki made a lunge for it, but Ishikawa manged to grab it first. Nowaki scrambled backwards and felt a wall behind his back. He shoved himself to his feet and barely missed a jab for his gut. Cornered on three sides by a wall, Nowaki hissed at Ishikawa for managing to corner him. Ishikawa lunged at him again and Nowaki quickly kicked his feet out from under himself. He managed to miss the fatal blow to his throat, but suffered slamming his head into the wall behind him as a result. Everything around him went fuzzy and he tried to gather a grasp on reality. Ishikawa chuckled in his delight and raised the razor above his head. Planning to slit Nowaki's throat, Ishikawa took advantage of the disoriented Nowaki and made his lunge for the kill. Inches before the blade touched Nowaki's skin, a figure appeared behind Ishikawa and the sickening crack of wood and bone was heard. Ishikawa's body fell against Nowaki and the razor tumbled out of his hands and harmlessly to the floor.

Avidly trying to shake the haze from his mind, Nowaki peered up to see a man holding a bat in his hands. The man holding the bat was Keiichi Sumi, one of Hiroki Kamijou's pupils and fellow classmate to Misaki. Nowaki and Sumi stared back and forth at each other for many moments in silence. Both of them were somewhat shocked and finally Nowaki was the one to break the silence. He made a check of Ishikawa's vital signs and realized the man was still alive. He shoved the man off of him and took the hand that Sumi offered to help him up. He was a bit unsteady on his feet at first but was quick to recover. He gave a soft nod of thanks to Sumi for taking Ishikawa out of the equation.

"Is this the bastard who touched Misaki?" Sumi asked and dropped the bat that was in his hands. He felt disgusted and yet elated to know he had just dealt such a nasty blow to the man who'd put his hands on Misaki. He shuddered a minute before he continued to speak. "Kamijou-Sensei told me about Takahashi and I went to the hospital to check on him, but Usami-san was just coming in with Misaki in his arms. He muttered off the address to this place and something about making sure the "tall, dark, and stupid one" didn't get himself killed. Since you're the tallest one here and the other guy down there is a blond, I'm figuring you're the "Nowaki" in this picture. Ah, speaking of... is that guy alive?" Sumi asked and felt his stomach lurch a bit at the idea of possibly having killed someone.

"He's alive... unfortunately. I'm going to just assume you're the Sumi-san that was referenced last night." Nowaki muttered and inspected the head wound. It wasn't as bad as it could have been but bleeding out might be a problem for Ishikawa. It took all of Nowaki's willpower to not leave the man here to die. Leaning down to heft the man onto his shoulder, Nowaki threw Ishikawa onto him in no particularly nice way. Motioning for Sumi to follow him, Nowaki exited the apartment and made his way back towards the hospital. He was positive he'd gathered every last photograph, negative, and disc associated with the incriminating photos.

"As much as I'd love to let this man stay here and die, I need to get him back to the hospital." Nowaki muttered and turned to take the lead with Sumi following closely behind him. Nowaki would have to thank Sumi properly later on for saving his life. If Sumi hadn't been there, Nowaki surely would've had his throat sliced. The thought caused him to visibly shudder but quickly leave it behind. The fact of the matter was that he was alive and this man would not longer be able to touch Misaki or anyone ever again. With that though in mind, Nowaki relaxed slightly and kept his pace to the hospital. He made a move for the emergency room doors and stopped short when his Senpai was outside smoking a cigarette. "Senpai, you know you shouldn't be smoking out here." Nowaki reprimanded softly.

" Yeah, yeah." The blond doctor quipped. "This the guy?" Nowaki gave a nod and let the man slide from his shoulder and into a heap on the ground. Nowaki's Senpai doctor dropped his cigarette beneath his shoe and crushed it before he moved to inspect Ishikawa's wounds. It was obvious someone had been beating on the man. Nowaki's Senpai scratched the side of his nose and looked towards Nowaki. "I didn't see a thing. Go get yourself cleaned up and take your friend with you. I'll handle this." He said. "Oh, and Kusama?" He paused briefly. "The kid is going to be alright. He's damned lucky. I'd check on that overbearing seme of his though, the guy is a freaking brute. He nearly punched my head clear off my shoulders when I took the kid away from him." Nowaki cracked a knowing smile and nearly chuckled. Things seemed to be working out for the better and hopefully Misaki would recover and they could bring justice to the deeds Ishikawa had committed.

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Eek. So many spelling/grammar errors. I decided to edit this entire chapter so I hope it's a little better now that I've gone through fixing it! Chapter Seven shall come soon'ish. _;


	7. Firmamentum Amor

_Whew! Finally! Sorry about the super later chapter, guys. My computer ate the chapter and then a family emergency came up. I had to retype it and it's probably not as good as the first and it probably has a gazillion typos and grammar issues! ~_*;;_

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_Chapter 7: Firmamentum Amor_

Ribbons of red rage followed in Usami's wake as his steps took him towards the hospital yet again. Everything in him wanted to return to the holocaust of an apartment and choke what little lifespan the man had left from him. As soon as Misaki was safe, Usami would deal with the man permanently. Usami had never really been all that angry of a man, even when the incident with Sumi had happened. However, Ishikawa had done the worst possible thing and now there was no way that Usami was going to let him get away with it. He trusted Nowaki to keep Ishikawa occupied and he knew the taller, younger man would not kill him. It was Usami's prey to deal with and Nowaki had too many qualms about getting the blood of another man on his hands. Usami might've been disturbed by such a notion before, but not he reveled in how many different scenes he could come up with his mind. There was no way he could deal with Ishikawa on a quick, painless basis. The man needed to suffer ten times more than Misaki ever had. Usami still blamed himself for what had happened, but in the end he devoted every ounce of himself to anger instead of stark fear and depression.

The blond doctor from before had tried to stop Usami from going into the room with Misaki to be taken care of and Usami was still raging about that too. He had nearly pummeled the man where he stood until Usami had been able to get his own way in the end. He vowed never to leave Misaki alone again, especially when he was as wounded as he was. He wasn't about to go back on the promise he made to his lover. Of course their relationship had started on less than normal circumstances but it didn't change the fact of how strongly Usami felt for Misaki. He had thought he'd been so in love with Takahiro before and maybe he had, but it was pale in comparison to his love for Misaki. Each moment he spent with the younger male made him want to cherish and love Misaki all the more. The idea that Misaki had nearly been taken from him not once, but twice made him shudder in fear and clasp Misaki's hand a big tighter. The doctors had said the wound wasn't as serious as it looked and stitching would be enough. They had stitched the wound on his thigh again and cleaned him up before Usami gave them all a death glare in getting out of the room.

He had taken great care in putting the gown on Misaki's body and for the first time he had been able to see the marks on the boy's body. He looked like he'd been through hell and back and Usami's mind ran with so many questions as to why or what for. He knew Misaki could be stupid somethings, but Misaki wasn't the type to blindly rush into something that was going to get him hurt without a good reason. Usami figured Ishikawa had to of had some type of leverage over Misaki and had been threatening him with it this entire time. Usami vowed to get to the bottom of it and right everything that Ishikawa had done. For now he let his eyes look over Misaki's battered face and he leaned down to press his lips gently against Misaki's temple. He thought, if anything, Misaki had probably been trying to protect Usami from something. While Misaki had never voiced his feelings and emotions about Usami to him so readily, Usami knew how Misaki felt about him and he knew that when you were in love with somebody, you would've gone through great lengths for him. Misaki had never been an exception; Usami was sure.

"Usagi." Usami heard and he snapped his head up to see Takahiro. He looked tired and ragged and Usami knew exactly how he felt. Usami tightened his hand over Misaki's once again and tried to face his best friend. It had grown increasingly difficult to keep himself together in front of Takahiro and now that the man knew about he and Misaki's relationship, he just didn't know what to do. He knew better than to think Takahiro was just going to be alright with it. The only reason Takahiro was being nice now was because he was thoughtful and surely must've only been trying to keep the drama down to a minimum for Misaki's sake. Of course, Misaki had not yet been told that his brother knew about their relationship and telling the boy would be the farthest from the best thing to do right now. Instead, they would wait until Misaki was well enough to discuss everything. Usami's let the anger within him lessen a little and he said nothing to the other.

"Who did this to my brother?" Takahiro whispered softly and moved to Misaki's side. Usami watched the gentle care that Takahiro took in brushing Misaki's hair from his forehead. There was a gentleness there and a love that Usami was sure was just as deep as his own love. They both cared for Misaki and Usami knew that even if Takahiro had a kind, gentle nature that he was thinking about getting his hands on Ishikawa as well. Usami did not immediately give Takahiro an answer mostly out of his own selfishness but somewhere within, he knew he never wanted Takahiro to put his hands on another man because of anything. He could handle the burden and elation of knowing who had done it all on his own. With a soft sigh, Usami's thoughts were broken when Manami walked in moments later with yet again more coffee. Usami might've found it amusing that there was so much coffee bought that never got drank if he hadn't more pressing matters on his mind. A cup was given to Takahiro and the other was set aside for Usami to drink if he so chose. Manami did not speak but gave a frown at Misaki's condition and clasped her hands into Takahiro's.

They all sat for near an hour in silence until Usami saw Nowaki enter into the room. He gave a slight, sad smile and stood near Usami to place his hand on the man's shoulder. There had been a time when he did not care to be in the company of his man more from jealousy than anything else. He knew that his Hiroki had loved this man once upon a time. Still, he put it within his past when he saw the way Usami looked down to the boy in the bed. He gave the man a gentle squeeze on the shoulder and spoke in a soft whisper for only Usami to hear. "I need to speak with you outside as soon a possible." Nowaki left it at that and turned his attention to Takahiro and Manami. While it was good to give them some closure, he thought it in everyone's best interest to spare details on the sensitive subject matter at hand. With a soft breath to calm his own nerves, he spoke. "The man suspected of being responsible for Misaki's injuries has been captured..." He could see the visible relief in Manami and Takahiro's bodies at once. Nearly instantly, he readied himself for the entourage of questions that were sure to be directed at him.

Thankfully, the blond doctor from before, peeked his head in to take over for Nowaki so that he and Usami could talk alone. "I've got this, Kusama. Get lost... you too, Usami." He mumbled and flicked them both a serious look before he picked up the chart at the end of Misaki's bed and began reading it over. Making a couple of marks he set the chart back down and faced Takahiro and Manami fully. "We haven't been able to meet properly yet. I'm doctor Tsumori and any questions you have... I'd be happy to answer as fully as I can for you." Tsumori was used to dealing with mostly pediatric cases, but in the event that Misaki's parents were gone, Tsumori couldn't see too much of a difference. He also knew that Usami would rather shank him than talk civilly with him about Ishikawa.

With some amount of convincing, Nowaki managed to pull Usami from the room and down to the deserted cafeteria to have some privacy. Nowaki bought yet another two cups of coffee and slid one to Usami before he prepared his the way he liked it. Pointing to a table off in the corner, he instructed Usami to sit down and he rubbed his hand over his temple before he sat too. He wasn't sure where to begin but he could see that Usami wanted answered and looked like he was about to murder Nowaki for not telling him about Ishikawa sooner. With a sip of his coffee, Nowaki began slowly. "I know why Misaki went to Ishikawa's." It was the best start he could think of. It was difficult talking about something he felt partially responsible for. He knew Misaki had been protecting Usami, but the boy had also been protecting Nowaki and Hiroki too. How he could have done so much was beyond Nowaki and he admired the boy for it, but now wasn't the time to think about such things. Another sip of his coffee down and he glanced around to make sure nobody was looking before he spoke again.

"You need to know Ishikawa is being taken care of and will never be able to harm Misaki or anyone else again. Now I need you to focus on why he was at that man's house and about what I found there." Nowaki breathed in slowly and thought about pulling the photos out but knew it was a bad idea to do that anywhere at all in the hospital. Deciding to speak about them instead, he clasped his hands in front of him and around his cup of coffee. "It seems somehow Ishikawa got his his hands on some rather... intimate photographs. Photographs that should of never been taken... invasions of your privacy, if you will. The kind of photographs that if they were ever to be released publicly would ruin your career." He paused and watched Usami's expressions before he continued. "It seems not only was Misaki trying to protect you, but Hiroki and myself as well. I can't explain much further to you right now, only that I have every last photograph that was taken. Normally I wouldn't say something like this, but I had planned on getting rid of them completely... I don't think they're something that should be used as evidence against Ishikawa as much as..." He trailed off when Usami stood and glared down at him.

"Where is that bastard, I'll kill him!" Usami demanded with a deathly growl to his voice. Nowaki sighed and stood as well. Rubbing the side of his temples he shook his head. "Usami-san, please! Your anger isn't going to help anything and if we approach this the wrong way, it may backfire. Now please, try to calm down. I know how difficult it is, but you have to try. I'm fairly sure he was using the photographs to blackmail Misaki into doing what he wanted him to do. Now I did some research of my own on the dates of the photographs as well as what we learned about Misaki's wounds. I think it must've started somewhere around a month ago, maybe not as long but fairly close. Does any of this make sense to you?" Nowaki relaxed a little when Usami sat down again and seemed to be lost in deep thought. Nowaki sat too and he took another sip of his coffee while Usami snapped his head up in some form of sudden recognition. Suddenly every single thing had made sense and Usami felt like he wanted to die. He shuddered and slid his hands into his hair while he let his head settle against the table. Why hadn't Misaki just come to him about it in the first place? His career wasn't even as important as Misaki. Sometimes, the boy really could be stupid.

"Where are they?" Usami asked softly and pulled his head up to look at Nowaki. Nowaki opened his lips to speak but when he saw a person from the corner of his eye he took a sip of his coffee instead and spoke the best choice of words he could think of. "A safe place. I'll show them to you later." Usami seemed to catch on and by the nod Usami had given him, they both let it go as that for now. It wasn't much longer after their strained exchange of words that Usami was being paged to Misaki's room. Fearing the worst, Usami moved quickly with dread in his heart to Misaki's room but calmed when he saw Takahiro and Manami's relieved expressions and Misaki awake and seemingly alert. He set his cup of coffee down by the other Manami had given him and he slid Misaki's hand in his own. Misaki seemed content for only a few moments before he was struggling to try and and get up and out of the bed again. Usami breathed in deeply to calm himself so he wouldn't yell at Misaki for trying to be stupid enough to keep protecting him.

"Misaki. Stop it." He commanded in a soft, low voice. When Misaki stopped struggling, Usami brought the blankets back up to his chin and tucked Misaki in gently before he moved his lips to speak again. "I know everything and I promise he'll never touch you again. You need to rest, so go back to sleep." Each word was spoken in a tender command and Misaki seemed to calm at those words and he made a soft, breathy sound before Usami watched him drift off once again. He pet his hands affectionately through Misaki's hair and turned his attention to Takahiro and Manami. "What were you able to find out?" Usami wanted to know more about Ishikawa and Nowaki seemed rather reluctant to tell him anything. The two didn't have much information to offer him other than hearing Ishikawa was in custody and was being held without the possibility of being bailed out. It frustrated Usami, but in the end there was nothing he could do about it.

Three weeks had passed by and Usami spent every moment at Misaki's side. Due to Misaki's condition and Ishikawa's belligerent nature, the photographs had never been brought to the attention of the courts. Ishikawa was convicted of attempted murder and sentenced accordingly with other minor charges added to his overall sentencing. While Usami was not content with Ishikawa being kept out of his grasps, he spent more time focusing on Misaki than what that bastard man had done. Misaki was still the same to him even if he was much more frail and had not been able to speak a single word to him since the incident. He missed Misaki's constant protests but the fact that Misaki was alive and recovering had been enough for Usami. Takahiro had not yet spoken to Usami about he and Misaki's relationship, but Usami was just thankful that Takahiro said it was a better idea that Misaki continue to live with Usami rather than go back home with his brother and sister-in-law. While Usami did not understand and wasn't sure he deserved to have Misaki at his side, he did not chose to question it.

"Misaki, are you cold?" Usami said softly and rose to wrap a blanket around Misaki's shoulders. Misaki shook his head slowly but let the blanket be put around him anyway. He could hardly believe that Ishikawa had been captured and sentenced and that he was being released from the hospital to go home today. He had been questioned so many times and had been unable to give any answers at all. Most of the time he had fallen asleep or he heard Usami ordering them to get out of his room. He could have smiled at how protective Usami was if he hadn't been feeling at disgusted for himself for being useless. He had tried so hard to protect everyone and in the end, they had found out and protected Misaki. He let his eyes fall to his lap and ran his one scarred hand over the other. He wondered if Usami was only with him still out of pity and not love. After all, he was unsure anyone could love something as ugly as him anymore. Of course, Misaki had no idea just how beautiful he still was. Misaki wanted to tell Usami to leave him alone and go away, but without his voice working and how painful it was to even try, he settled with allowing the man to be so near him.

"Usami-san; Misaki-san." Misaki heard and turned his head to see Nowaki entering his room. His first memory of Nowaki was not from a hospital, but from a flower shop a while back when he had purchased some roses for Usami. He hadn't expected Nowaki to be a doctor as well, much less to be assigned to taking care of him. He had also hear bits and pieces that the doctor was somehow involved with Kamijou-Sensei. He mused over the thought for a while but in the end, he had left it at that. He was almost amazed to know that the one who had made Ishikawa's capture possible was Sumi. He could see Usami trying so hard to be civil to Sumi each time the man came to visit him. He turned his head away and breathed out slowly when he heard Nowaki say that he and Usami had just been cleared to leave the hospital. He barely listened when Usami thanked Nowaki for everything and promised to get with him later about more pressing matters. Of course, Misaki had just assumed the courts had obtained and kept the pictures confidential, not that Nowaki had been keeping a hold of them until he could figure out what to do with them.

"Let's go, Misaki." Usami said and Misaki only gave a slight nod when Usami wheeled him out of the hospital and to the familiar red sports car. Misaki hadn't yet been able to walk because of the damage done to his legs and he hated the fact that Usami had to wheel him around everywhere like he was helpless. He had tried many times to protest but in the end, it was nearly impossible. He remained silent when Usami lifted him from the wheelchair and strapped him into the seat. He didn't like the idea of being in the car, but on the other hand, he had stopped caring entirely. The whole way home was spent in silence with Misaki watching the tops of the trees against the sunlight. He had never taken the time to notice such things before and while he thought it was pretty, he knew that as soon as the sun faded, it wouldn't last.

The penthouse was the same as Misaki always remembered it and upon seeing Suzuki-san, his eyes lit up for the first time in weeks. It faded just as quickly and Misaki winced quietly when he was set down on the couch. Even if he had been released from the hospital, his body wasn't entirely healed and it still hurt a fair bit. He had been given so many painkillers that it left him groggy and fuzzy and he wished they would either throw him into a medically induced coma or let him live through the pain. He reached his good arm out to touch Suzuki-san and his eyes watched as Usami moved to the kitchen and tried to prepare coffee by himself. Usami had never really been all that good at taking care of himself and he always did something wrong. The last time Misaki remembered Usami trying to make coffee for himself, he'd poured it into the wrong glass and cut his finger when the glass shattered. Still, Usami seemed to be getting the hang of it at least somewhat and Misaki even dared to let the side of his mouth hitch up when Usami poured the brewed coffee into the glass Misaki had written on as being safe for coffee.

Usami had been trying so hard to do everything for Misaki and while on one hand he appreciated it all, the other told him Usami was only doing everything out of pity. He wanted to shout at Usami to stop but without being able to use his voice and with his arm not being able to write, it was virtually impossible. He let defeat wash over him and he knew as soon as his hand was healed that Usami wouldn't be safe from angry, etched words on a writing pad. So far his attempts at writing anything had ended up in a bunch of illegible scribbles that had only made Misaki angry and frustrated to no end. He couldn't speak, write, or attend his classes and he knew he had fallen so far behind that it was probably going to be impossible to make everything up. He frowned again thinking about it and it wasn't until Usami brought the cup of coffee to him that he looked up. Usami's hands were red from where he had burnt himself and had the cup wrapped in a dish towel in a way that made Misaki stifle away a silent laugh. Even if Usami was trying to pity him; the man was a hopeless case.

Misaki took the offered coffee in his good hand and watched the steam rise from it for a while before he dared to take a drink. He hadn't been given many hot drinks lately but he had finally been allowed to have them and even had been encouraged to keep himself warm. The coffee tasted good in comparison to the plethora of juice he had been made to drink, but it hurt a bit against his healing suture and he contorted his face a bit painfully before he grew accustomed to it and finished his coffee rather quickly. He had never really been a coffee drinker before, but asking Usami to make tea was practically impossible. Settling for coffee had been the next best thing and even if the taste was bitter, he preferred it to apple juice or an already bitter cranberry juice. He turned his head when Usami said his name and the look of worry on Usami's face made his heart break and also angered him at the same time. He nearly threw the glass at Usami but though against it in the end and set the glass down gently instead. He shook his head to Usami to denote he was fine and as belligerent as he was, tried to stand on his own. He braced his arms against the side of the couch and used the best of his two feet to brace himself. He made it took his feet and took one single step before he went tumbling towards the floor. Usami caught him and pulled him into his arms and Misaki closed his eyes to listen to the berating he knew he would get.

"Misaki! Are you trying to open up your wounds again?!" Usami ushered and was checking him over. Misaki opened his eyes to give Usami an annoyed, angry look. When Misaki pointed to the bathroom door, Usami understood and was already taking him towards the bathroom while Misaki was ardently shaking his head and trying to get out of Usami's arms. He felt pathetic enough that he couldn't even do that by himself and it was mortifying that Usami had carried him back and forth for a while now. When Usami did not seem dissuaded, Misaki decided to settle in for defeat and let Usami take care of everything for him once again. The road to recovery would be long and Misaki was either going to go insane or end up wanting to murder himself and Usami by the end of it.

That night Usami had done everything from cooking and cleaning to helping Misaki wash himself up and get himself ready for bed. When Misaki had pointed to his own room and tried to argue with Usami about sleeping alone, Usami had refused to leave Misaki that way and Misaki had been forced to be cuddled protectively into Usami's body the entire night. He didn't sleep at first and was left to his own thoughts and to the idea that even if Usami was probably just pitying him because of his condition, that it was rather nice to be held like this and to feel safe. Even with the news of Ishikawa having been captured and dealt with, Misaki still had problems closing his eyes to sleep without the aid of hospital drugs. When he did sleep, often he had different types of nightmares and awoke in silent screams and covered in his own sweat. It was hours after Usami had fallen asleep that Misaki himself had finally found his own sleep and thankfully, did not have a nightmare for the first time in weeks.

Misaki awoke the next morning feeling as stiff and sore as usual. He was thankful that with each passing day his vision seemed to be a little better although it was still nothing as it used to be. He suffered from frequent headaches and the different medications they put him on only made his head ache worse. He'd tried a few times to fake them into thinking he'd taken it, but as soon as Usami had found out what he'd been doing, he had made sure Misaki had taken the proper dosages without fail. Even if Usami was trying to do good and help him, Misaki wished that Usami would leave him alone to his own devices and self-pity. Wanting his own independence for a change, Misaki waited until he was a bit more awake until he tried to get his legs to work. His ankle still needed healing on the left leg and the muscles in his right leg would take much longer to heal and considering the spot, it was unlikely they would heal well enough to grant him walking as well as he once used to.

He pushed his left leg over the side of the bed first and put a bit of pressure on it. It hurt enough, but he was sure he could keep himself stable with it. His right leg came next and when he tried to step down on it, he was overjoyed when it didn't give in right away. He braced both his good arm and the arm with the cast on it to the edge of the bed and pushed himself fully to his feet. It was painful and he made the softest of whimpering noises that was barely audible at all. Still insistent on doing things for himself, he took a step with his left foot first, then his right. He managed three more steps before his right leg gave out and he went crashing to the floor on his back. The sudden impact jolted him and he breathed sharply, trying to clear the sudden jolt of pain away. It left him fuzzy and disoriented and when Usami shoved the door open to inspect the sudden noise, Misaki was unable to distinguish who was rushing so quickly at him in the darkness.

Misaki made a soft, panicked sound and tried to scramble away from Usami. He had no way of knowing it was Usami and in such a disoriented state, his mind was cruel enough to let him play out that he was on the floor if Ishikawa's bedroom. Usami tried to deal with Misaki as gently as he could, but with the boy flailing he had no choice but to pin Misaki down so that he wouldn't hurt himself. He could feel Misaki's rapid breathing and see his chest rising and falling dangerously fast. Usami wanted to die with the stark fear that was in Misaki's eyes when he touched him, but reminded himself that surely it was a mistake and Misaki had been having another nightmare. "Misaki, Misaki!" He said softly. He didn't want to raise his voice to further Misaki. When Misaki protested again, Usami drew in a deep breath to calm himself before he continued.

"Misaki! It's me... stop moving around, I'm not going to hurt you!" It seemed to be many more moments and Misaki was sill struggling. Usami gave a low, frustrated growl and hoped that Misaki wouldn't hurt himself in the time it would take for him to get up and turn the light on. He let Misaki go and moved to his feet before quickly turning the switch to flood the room with light. He was back at Misaki's side and Misaki struggled against him again, Usami hung his head in frustration and regretted having to pin Misaki down against his will. He lowered his forehead to Misaki's and Usami felt like a failure once again for not having prevented Misaki from going through such a terrible ordeal. It almost had him crying again but he knew he needed to be strong for Misaki, if not for himself. With a deep breath, he did the next best thing he could think of. Letting Misaki's hands go, he rose his face up a few inches from Misaki's and he winced but refused to move when he felt Misaki's fingernails rake against the flesh of his cheek.

When Usami was sure that Misaki would land another blow against him, he opened his eyes when he felt Misaki still beneath him. Worried that Misaki had passed out from exhaustion, his eyes widened slightly when he saw Misaki staring at him. Misaki's hand moved to the scratches on his face and while it stung and he could feel the blood dripping down his cheek, he made no motion to move. It nearly broke him when he saw tears in Misaki's eyes and saw Misaki try to speak. He shook his head softly and held his own hand over Misaki's at his cheek. The scratches on his face was nothing compared to what Misaki had gone through and Usami was just happy that Misaki finally seemed to recognize he was safe and wasn't in any danger. Usami immediately pulled himself of off Misaki and pulled him instead into his lap to curl him close against his chest. Misaki leaned into Usami willingly and Usami pet his free hand down Misaki's back to try and soothe him.

"It's alright, Misaki. I promise I'll never let anyone else touch you ever again." He said and leaned down to kiss Misaki on the forehead. He could feel Misaki's hot tears soaking through the material of his shirt. He didn't want Misaki to cry for him, but he knew it was impossible and so he just sighed and held Misaki into him. "Misaki... I love you." Usami said gently. No matter what, Usami knew nothing Misaki could do would ever make him stop loving him more and more with each passing moment.

* * *

_Finally, eh? Sorry if this chapter seemed a little short or weak in comparison to the previous couple. I promise chapter 8 will be better!_


	8. UPDATE 2202011! Please Read Me! 3

Hi there again guys! Wow, it's been so long since I wrote this story! I've come much farther both in my writing ability and maturing as a person. I'm almost finished with college so that should open up a bit more time for me to work on editing this story and finishing it up!

I'd like to say thank you to everyone who is reading this still. It brightens my day to see in my inbox that somebody has favourited my story or that someone has subscribed to it! I'm really looking forward to going over this entire story and reworking some of the details! I need to read up some more on my Junjou and watch the series all over again as well! I'll also be reading over my entire story and doing some brainstorming and planning.

Thank you again for baring with me on this _LONG, LONG_ overdue process of needing to update this story. I haven't forgotten about any of you! College life has just taken priority unfortunately. None the less, graduation, here I come! (And by that, I mean I graduate from college in June. Can you believe it?)


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